


Wrong Twin, Barold

by queerbioengineer



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Barry can't tell the twins apart, Canon Trans Character, Emotions, Episode: e060-066 The Stolen Century Parts 1-7, Episode: e067-069 Story and Song Parts 1-3, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, Implied Transphobia, Lup is trans, M/M, Misgendering, Misunderstandings, Non-Explicit Sex, Pining, Post-Episode: e067-069 Story and Song Parts 1-3, Pre-Episode: e060-066 The Stolen Century Parts 1-7, Second-Hand Embarrassment, Spoilers for Episode: e060-066 The Stolen Century Parts 1-7, Taako is not, Trans Character, Twins, accidental misgendering, and they absolutely roast him for it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2019-11-15 15:49:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 27,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18076322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queerbioengineer/pseuds/queerbioengineer
Summary: "Lup.  He still couldn’t help but smile whenever she crossed his mind, however briefly.He had never had much interest in dating before, back on their home planet. At some point, he just assumed it wasn’t for him, that there wasn’t a woman out there who he felt drawn to enough.But then, he had never met a woman like Lup before. "Or, the one where the Twins seem determined to make Barold's life a living hell. At least, until Taako gets a boyfriend of his own.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Tentative teen rating for now, rating and relevant tags might get updated later.
> 
> Update: I have changed the rating to "Mature." If you don't agree with this rating, please let me know.

Even after the Day of Story and Song, Lup and Taako _still_ liked to tease Barry mercilessly about it. It had been an accident, he _swore_. He knew they weren't actually mad, but it plagued him to no end that they refused to let him forget about it.

Particularly, about one of the more egregious incidents during cycle 52, although that was far from when the torment had started for Barry.

It had been one of the fortunate years in which they had been able to locate the Light of Creation within their first couple months of searching. It was excellent news for the planet they were on, and Barry had certainly been happy about that. However, there was still some small, selfish part of him that dreaded having so much time in the Starblaster lab with the Light, having a whole year of studying and experimenting and revising ahead of him while the rest of the crew got to go off every day to explore the new and exciting world they were on.

Still, he couldn’t complain. He had his- friends? Family? He still wasn’t quite sure what to call these people he had spent the last _half century_ with. Any label he could think of seemed so inadequate, so poorly suited for as situation such as theirs. After all, this wasn’t what any of them had anticipated upon signing up for this mission.

 

It had taken quite a while for Barry to come out of his shell; longer than the others, for sure. But he did, in his own time… with a little help from Lup. 

 

 _Lup_.  He still couldn’t help but smile whenever she crossed his mind, however briefly. He had never had much interest in dating before, back on their home planet. Even in his youth (which had become yet another nebulous concept to him as he ceased to age physically), he had been far too invested in his studies, far too easily distracted by his niche interests to find the time to pursue a romantic partner properly. At some point, he just assumed it wasn’t for him, that there wasn’t a woman out there who he felt drawn to enough.   

But then, he had never met a woman like Lup before.

 

Like he said. It had started long before cycle 52.

* * *

 

Prior to being assigned to the Starblaster crew, Barry had only ever heard things in passing about the Taaco Twins, never actually getting the chance to meet them in person. What could he say, he wasn’t the most social fellow. Occasional card games and bowling nights with acquaintances from his lab didn’t exactly overlap with the circles that the IPRE’s infamous brother-and-sister duo ran in.   

 

 

They had only been taken on as arcane apprentices by the IPRE a couple years ago, but had already built quite a reputation for themselves. They both managed to score perfectly on the Institute’s entrance exam despite having no formally recorded educations to their name, a feat that impressed the veteran professor greatly. As a matter of fact, no one really knew who they were, where they came from, or how they managed to become masters of Evocation and Transmutation in record time. As far as anyone could tell, Taako and Lup Taaco were self-taught, self-reliant, and completely inseparable geniuses.

 

And, if rumor was to be believed, they were also _insufferable_ troublemakers.

 

Barry wasn’t one for idle chitchat, but even he heard things through the grapevine from time to time. That being said, determining what was real and what was gossip-fodder was a bit harder when no one was quite sure of which Twin they were accusing at any given time.

 

One of the Twins had allegedly disguised themselves as the Proctor of an entrance exam to make sure that their ex-boyfriend flunked it. Another supposedly stole the President of the IPRE’s favorite shoes, while he was _still wearing them._ And one (or both?) of them had apparently shown up to formal IPRE networking events drunk and disorderly on multiple occasions, which usually ended in multiple things either going missing or being set on fire. Or both.

 

Barry didn’t really know what to believe, but on principle, he tended to give people the benefit of the doubt. He knew people liked to exaggerate in story-telling, especially when they were jealous or vindictive.

 

Besides, if these twins had both been selected for such an illustrious mission, then surely they had to be more professional than word-of-mouth gave them credit for. They were famously talented arcane specialists, and Barry was very excited at the chance to work with them in such close quarters. So altogether, he was thoroughly determined to make a good impression on them at their first mission briefing.

 

\---

 

It was late morning, both suns risen high in the pale lavender sky; a beautiful day, really.

Barry had been sitting with the four other members of the crew who were present, twiddling his thumbs as he glanced anxiously around the conference table. There was another human man, younger than himself and quite friendly, if a bit crass. He also had an imposingly burly physique, which really only made Barry a _little_ insecure about his own, softer belly. There was also a petite, dark-skinned human woman, who seemed to be a bit shy, but was polite and kind nonetheless. There was also an older dwarvish man, who quickly introduced himself as a follower of Pan. He also seemed to be wearing… were those swim trunks? Hm. Well, he was no stranger to particular tastes in legwear, he supposed.

 

Oh, and of course there was their captain, who he had corresponded with via mail. He was a gnome with red hair and a firm presence in the room, sorting out some papers at the head of the table as he let them get acquainted. Though Barry attempted to participate in some idle small talk with them, Barry kept glancing towards the door, unable to stop himself from being overtly aware of the two people missing from the room…

 

At about 5 past their designated meeting time, the captain cleared his throat, apparently choosing to overlook the two empty seats for the time being, to Barry’s own slight disappointment. He greeted the four of them formally, and introduced himself as Captain Davenport.

 

“Ahem… Cap’nport?” The young human man (Magnus?) piped up, smiling in satisfaction at his own goof. Barry blinked, before letting out a nervous chuckle. While it was sorta nice to know that the big, beefy, man-beef had a sense of humor, it was _highly_ unprofessional to make jokes at their commanding officer’s expense. Fortunately, Davenport only briefly narrowed his eyes at the lad before continuing on with the briefing.

 

They were to be a crew of seven aboard the ship _Starblaster,_ which was run by revolutionary new bond-engine technology (Davenport’s personal pride and joy). They were tasked with exploring the planar system where it had never been explored before, and bringing back invaluable knowledge of what laid beyond the realm of their world. “If all goes according to plan, our Chief Science Officer will have a lot to show for us when we get back.” He gestured eagerly towards Barry, who nodded sheepishly.

 

Barry knew that his role on the mission was an important one, but it still filled him with a rare sense of pride and accomplishment to hear the overview of his duties described to the group.  To think, he would be conducting research on discoveries from _other planes._ Most of Barry’s life goals up to this point had been fueled by his thirst for knowledge of that which their world didn’t fully understand. Using science to unravel the arcane, even dabbling in some of the more taboo magical arts, pushing himself past the line between experimental and reckless… his research was _his_ pride and joy. Sure, it had almost gotten him arrested more times than he could count, but now? Now it was all worth it. Now, he got to go on a voyage that would make _history._

 

He listened intently as he learned the additional roles of the people he would be sharing a ship with for the next two months. Magnus would be their head of security (no surprise there), and Lucretia, the quiet human woman, would be their record-keeper for posterity’s sake. The dwarven cleric, Merle Highchurch, would be their on-board physician as well as a biological consultant to Barry’s research, Davenport explained.

 

“Now, Dr. Bluejeans, you can also expect to be working quite closely with our on-board arcane specialists, Lup and Taako Taaco…” Davenport frowned, looking between the four of them. “I um, don’t suppose anyone has seen them?” 

 

Magnus and Merle shook their heads. Lucretia appeared to be busy writing notes of the meeting. Barry adjusted his glasses, glancing at the clock. He had been growing steadily more anxious about their notable absence from the meeting as time had passed. He cleared his throat.

 

“Sir, maybe they got lost on their way to the conference room?“

 

As if Barry’s words had been a summoning spell, the door to the meeting room burst open, causing himself and Lucretia both to jump in their seats. In waltzed a young-looking elf, who was… well frankly, beautiful.

 

 Barry didn’t have much of an eye for this sort of thing, but even he knew that shiny blonde hair, smooth bronze skin, and freckles were generally considered attractive across a good number of races. Especially when they were present on an individual who held themselves with the all of the confident and commanding air of a monarch.

 The elf was wearing a tasteful, loose-fitting white blouse with a flashy, floral scarf and a knee-length skirt to match. Beneath a floppy wizard’s hat, their hair was draped over their shoulder in a neat braid. Dark purple eyes scanned the occupants of the room indifferently as (her?) sandaled foot held the door open as an afterthought. After a moment’s pause, which seemed uncomfortable to everyone except for the strikingly pretty elf, a slow, lilting voice broke the silence:

 

“Is this the room for the Star-thingy?”

 

“Um, the-uh, the Starblaster?” Barry provided helpfully as he stood up to greet his new coworker. _Thank goodness_ , he thought. _This must be the sister, Lup_.

 

“Yes, you’re-you’re in the right place, we were uh-actually just talking about you.” He tried to ignore how awkward that just sounded by extending a hand out to shake.

 

The elf regarded his outstretched hand for a moment like it was a foreign object, before apparently deciding to take it with a small grin. “Yes, well it’s always nice to meet a fan. Natch.”

 

Barry chuckled nervously, before glancing towards the door. There _were_ supposed to be two of them, right? “Um, is your uh-your brother going to be joining us?”

 

Suddenly, Barry felt a sharp electric shock singe his hand, causing him to yelp as he pulled it away hastily. He shook his hand out, looking in dismay at the elf before him.

 “I don’t have a brother,” she lilted matter-of-factly, examining her fingernails as if she hadn’t just cast Shocking Grasp on him. Barry noticed, with a flash of confusion and subsequent panic, that her previously easy smile now seemed awfully forced.

 

Oh gods. Had he said something wrong?!

 

“I’m um, I’m sorry Miss uhm, Lup? Can I call you Lup?“ Barry started babbling a mile a minute, trying not to break down in tears at the thought of having offended his reputable colleague with his social ineptitude already. “Sorry, I-that’s too informal, Miss. Is um, is your-is Taako not coming?” He winced, hoping he hadn’t made things worse.

 

Though he didn’t know how, it seemed that he had stumbled upon the right thing to say, as the elf’s face seemed to relax somewhat as he blathered on. Oh, thank goodness. Maybe he could save this interaction.

 

With a roll of her eyes, the elf patted Barry on the cheek with one hand. “You’re lookin’ at him, bubbelah.”

 

Oh.

Oh, n-

Oh _noooo_.

 

Barry felt the sudden, yet overwhelming desire to sink very, very far into the ground. As in, low enough that he could never be seen again by any living thing, especially the elf he had just egregiously and repeatedly misgendered. He vaguely registered the sound of snickering coming from behind him (thanks, Magnus) as he kept staring down the _very_ _male elf_ in front of him like an _idiot_.

 

“Oh-oh my,” he choked out, face turning red. “I-I’m very sorry uh, sir?” _No, Barry, he’s not your boss._ “I mean uh, Mister Taako?” _Ugh, just explain yourself, Barry!_

“I uh, thought you were your sister, because you’re very…”

 

He blanched, catching himself gesture to Taako’s outfit, as the elf raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. _Oh great, better think of a way to finish that sentence that isn’t sexist or homophobic OR racist, Barry._

 “…. Pretty?”

 

Taako’s eyes widened slightly. _Oh shit._

“Oh, oh no, I didn’t mean that in like a, like a sexual harassment way, or, anything, um….” he trailed off in mortification, vaguely registering that Magnus and Merle were practically wheezing in laughter behind him, and Davenport had his face buried firmly in his hands. He really, _really_ hoped Lucretia wasn’t writing any of this down.

 

Fortunately (or unfortunately), the elf decided to spare him the torture of coming up with another, worse addition to his rambling by patting him on the shoulder. “Hate to break it to ya there, blue-jeans, but you’re not really my type. No offense, I’m just not sups into this whole…situation.” Taako waved a slender hand vaguely in Barry’s direction, which, okay. Barry probably deserved that.

 

His still-reeling mind managed to grasp onto the least offensive detail of the wizard’s disclaimer. “Um, you- you know my name?”

 

Taako rolled his eyes. “Not unless your name is fuckin blue-jeans.” And oh, oh right. The elf had been referring to the actual pants he was wearing. Well, that was unfortunate.

 

“Shut up.” Barry winced. “You’re fucking kidding me.”

 

Taako now had what could only be described as a wicked, shit-eating grin on his face, which absolutely wasn’t helping the rampant red flush across Barry’s. “Your name is _Bluejeans_?”

 

“Well, its uh- Barry, Barry J. Bluejeans-“

 

The elf snorted, snickering into his hand with unabashed glee, as Barry shrunk into himself a little bit more. “That is amazing- hey Lulu!” He yelled out the still-open door: “Lulu, this guy’s name is _Bluejeans_!”

 

Oh gods, right. The _actual_ sister. Barry had already been thrown off his rhythm enough by Taako, and he was straight!

 

(Maybe a bit less so than he thought, given this disaster of an interaction, but still. At least 95% straight.)

 

He selfishly hoped to whatever god would listen that they didn’t look alike, that the brother had somehow managed to be the prettier sibling, because he wasn’t sure if he could handle-

 

**Her.**

 

Barry thought multiple things in rapid succession when the female elf practically tripped over herself crashing through the doorway in response to Taako’s unusual summons.

 

The first was that, clearly, no god had bothered to listen to him today.

 

 Rather, they had all collectively decided to give this woman the same shimmering fair hair, the same warm, tawny skin, and the same smattering of freckles across the bridge of her pointed nose as her male counterpart. When she lifted up her reflective aviator sunglasses to survey the inhabitants of the room with sharp purple eyes, he swore he even saw the same birthmark under her right eyebrow.

 

Would’ve been nice if someone mentioned they were _identical._

The second coherent thought Barry was that he now had a very, very serious problem on his hands.

Because this woman, this **_Lup_** , was simultaneously the most _stunning_ and the most _overwhelming_ person he had ever laid his eyes on.

 

She had half her head of pale blond hair buzzed short, the other half done in a messy braid like her bemused brother. She seemed to be wearing a crop top with some sort of glittery logo on it, which Barry _definitely_ wasn’t staring at.

Just like his eyes _weren’t_ drawn to the eclectic multitude of necklaces rattling around on her neck, or the fierce red lipstick that framed her upturned mouth.

 She also wore severely shredded black pants and absurdly high heeled boots, which was _fine_ , this was _such a normal time_ for Barry.

Were her nails painted with little flame decals? _Neat_.

 Did the leather jacket she tossed carelessly on the table in front of him smell warm and smoky, almost like a recently-extinguished campfire? What a _totally professional_ detail for him to notice.

 

This all went through Barry’s head in the approximately two seconds it took Lup to stride across the room and shove a large iced coffee into her brother’s hands. She herself had a straw from some Fantasy-Starbucks monstrosity hanging out of her mouth, held tightly between her sharp-looking teeth ( _jeezy creezy, Barry_ ). She took an exceptionally long slurp of the neon pink beverage before releasing it with an _ahhhh,_ finally turning to address Davenport at the head of the table.

 

“Sorry we’re late, Cap. This one’s a bear without his coffee, so when you think about it, it really couldn’t be helped.” She gestured to her brother, who was now stirring his straw leisurely around the aforementioned drink. The pair of them appeared wholly comfortable taking up both space and time in the room they had just invaded, paying no mind to the meeting that was fruitlessly attempting to go on around them.

Magnus seemed mildly perplexed by, but generally receptive to the Twins’ entrance. Merle seemed jovial enough, if not a bit unaware of what was happening. To her credit, Lucretia seemed a bit off-put by the successive interruptions, having finally looked up from her notebooks with a frown. And Davenport… well, he looked resigned to his fate, to say the least.

 

Barry was starting to think he might somehow, possibly not be the least professional one here.

 

Taako rolled his eyes. “You only get to blame _me_ if you get my order right, Dingus” he mumbled. Barry blinked, now noticing that as the elf stirred his coffee, the color was changing from light brown to dark, as he… transmuted the milk _out_ of his coffee? What kind of wizard wasted a spell slot on that?

 

Lup flicked him on the shell of his ear, earning a scowl and a half-hearted swat on her arm. “The barista fucked it up, Doofus. Honestly, I don’t even know how you can drink that stuff, it’s disgusting.” She pretended to gag.

 

Taako sniffed. “Not my fault I got all the good-taste genes.”

 

“Brat. Anyways, what’s this I hear about some blue-jeans?” She turned to the offending denim-clad statue standing awkwardly before her, and _oh no._ Now Barry found himself under the heavy gaze of not one, but _two_ incredibly different and frighteningly similar forces of nature.

 

This was not in his job description.

 

Davenport cleared his throat, attempting to bring some order back to the upturned room. “Nice for you to join us, Taako and Lup. This is Dr. Barry Bluejeans, our lead science officer-“

 

“Your name really is _Bluejeans_?!” To his dismay, Lup seemed equally amused by his last name, breaking out in a sharp cackle as her eyes lit up. “I fucking _love_ that,” she exclaimed, which made him feel significantly more blushy and fluttery than when Taako said it, for some reason.

 

Another loud cough from Davenport. “Miss Taaco, if we could please resume the mission briefing-“

 

“Oh yes of course, Captain Davenport.” Lup released Barry from her hypnotically intense gaze to give Davenport a quick salute, which he sighed at.

 

“Psst, Lup.” Magnus caught her eye from across the table. “Cap’nport,” he whispered loudly across the table.

 

Lup gasped. “Oh, _hell_ yes. That is _so_ going to be a thing, now.” Behind her, Taako nodded his approval.

 

Barry coughed, gesturing the distracted Twins towards the only two unoccupied seats left at the table, which were unfortunately on either side of his own chair. He was just resigning himself to being stuck between the two of them for the rest of the meeting when Lup plopped herself down in _his_ seat, hiking her boots up on the table to rest next to his notepad. Next to her, Taako smoothly pulled his own chair closer to her before slumping down, an arm draped casually across his sister’s shoulders like it belonged there.

 

Right. So, don’t separate the Twins, then.

 

_This was going to be a long two months._

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gonna try and have this done by the end of the week, so expect semi-frequent updates. But please know that I still love receiving comments and feedback as I'm writing, I just like to know that people enjoy what I'm making :)

After that press conference, Barry felt like he could seriously use a drink.

 

Unfortunately for him, he said so out loud within ear shot of Merle, and suddenly it was a crew-wide affair. Davenport declined to join them, insisting that he would need a clear head to pilot the ship in the morning.

 

“But so long as you can all show up on time tomorrow, you’re free to have a bit of fun tonight,” he reassured them. “Just don’t go too crazy, okay?”

 

“Oh, absolutely,” Merle said, giving Davenport a very obvious wink. Davenport sighed, before turning away from them with a polite wave, determined to let that be tomorrow’s problem.

 

Barry glanced over towards where the Twins were fussing with each other’s hair, seeming determined to give themselves an emergency Twin-primping-session for whatever trashy bar Merle was about to drag them to. This made Barry uneasy.

 

Barry hadn’t really spoken to either of them, since their initial briefing last week. He wasn’t trying to be rude, or anything, it was just… well. He had been afraid that Taako would still be upset with him for his slip-up. I mean really, it must be upsetting for him to be confused with his sister, right? They were two different people, after all.

 

Barry did suppose that he could be overthinking things, and that Taako might not be one to hold a grudge for too long. Unfortunately, that particular possibility wasn’t seeming very likely, if the complementary T-shirts the Twins wore to the press conference labeled “TAAKO” and “LUP” were to be any indication.

 

 _Sigh_.

 

He also supposed he could’ve tried talking to Lup instead, on one of the rare instances he found her without her brother. But every time he saw her, he ended up stumbling through some generic greeting and beating a hasty retreat before he could embarrass himself even further.

 

 It was sad, he knew, being so easily flustered by an attractive woman. But she _was_ a bit intimidating to a guy like him, and for more reasons than just that. She was so confident in herself, so outspoken and bold; she seemed to be able to throw him completely off balance with a single word. Or two, in the case of “nerd alert.”

 

_Sigh 2._

 

Maybe Barry could manage to smooth things over with Taako tonight, so long as things didn’t get too out of hand at the bar. Maybe the crew could be convinced to keep things chill tonight as well?

 

He was drawn from his thoughts by a sharp whistle from none other than Lup, who was bouncing on the toes of her boots impatiently as she demanded the attention of the rest of their rowdy crew.

 

“Let’s get this party-blaster on the road, nerds! Mama needs a new pair of shoes!”

 

Call him a pessimist, but he didn’t think his chances were looking great.

 

* * *

 

 

3 hours later, Barry found himself seated firmly on a bar stool, nursing a Fantasy IPA as he tried to ignore the insane ruckus going on 15 feet behind him. If he didn’t know better, he’d say Magnus came out _looking_ for a fight this evening.

Well, at least everyone else seemed to be having a good time. It was around his third beer when Barry remembered why he didn’t go out often: it just wasn’t that fun to drink by yourself.

 

He was about to close out his tab and call it a night when he felt someone sliding onto the stool next to him, immediately turning towards Barry and fixing him with a smile as they blew some thoroughly disheveled blonde hair out of their face.

 

“Sup, lone ranger?”

 

Barry tried to check the name on the elf’s t-shirt as quickly and _discreetly_ as he could before looking up.

And of _course_ , it was TAAKO.

Well, he supposed now was as good a time as any for attempt #2. After all, the only other plan he had for the evening was a minor existential crisis.

 

“Not much. How about you, having fun?”

 

Taako shrugged, gesturing down to the fancy new shoes on his feet, which Barry could’ve sworn he saw on a wealthy-looking half-orc earlier. “Well, hustling pool is always a pretty baller time, my man, not gonna lie.” 

 

Ah. “Well I uh, can’t say I know the feeling.” Barry bit his lip, before deciding to down the rest of his drink to stifle the tangible awkwardness between them.

 

Taako, in turn, smothered a laugh as Barry sputtered on the dregs of his beer. Great.

 

The tipsy elf was seemingly amused enough by the sight to order Barry and himself another round of drinks, as Barry sheepishly worked on clearing his throat. Barry wasn’t sure whether or not he should take that as a compliment, but he supposed that laughing with-slash-at him was better than not speaking to him at all.

 

Once Barry caught his breath, he fully intended to bite the bullet and apologize for upsetting Taako the other day, had he not been distracted by some cat-calling coming from the opposite end of the bar. Looking over, he saw a flash of blonde hair and tawny brown skin over by the fantasy jukebox, and-

 

“ _Eep_!”

 

-he immediately ducked his face down to hide his furious blush in his hands, after emitting _that_ decidedly un-masculine noise. Oscillating quickly between conflicting feelings of concern and embarrassment, he looked back over to the other side of the bar once more, before looking away again, before looking back through the cracks between his fingers, before –

 

“You uhhh, you good there, fam?”

 

-before he realized that he had almost forgotten who he was sitting with. Someone who could reasonably be expected to resolve the _particularly alarming_  situation he had just witnessed.

 

“ _Taako!”_ he whispered frantically, lifting his hands from his face enough to meet concerned purple eyes.

 

“Umm, yeah?”

 

“ _What happened to Lup’s shirt?!”_ Barry frantically gestured over to wear Lup was still seated casually atop a pool table, chatting to a couple more inebriated patrons like she wasn’t _shirtless_ beneath her _completely unbuttoned Institute jacket_!!

 

To his dismay, Taako looked decidedly less concerned once he glanced briefly back over his shoulder towards his sister, throwing her a peace sign and a grin. “Oh yeah, some douche-nozzle spilled a drink on it, earlier.” He turned back to Barry, lightly sipping at his drink like his sister wasn’t _half naked in public_.

 

Barry was flabbergasted. And, frankly, flushing all the way down his neck. “ _Wh-well-um- is she like-okay? Is she good? Does she need a new shirt??_ ” He was still whispering, for whatever reason, and absolutely refusing to look back across the bar. He supposed that elven standards of modesty could be different from human ones, but was this really a normal occurrence for them?!

 

“Nah, she’s fine, homie. Here,” He vaguely felt Taako take his hands and wrap them firmly around his glass of amber liquid. “You look like you could use this, you got one hell of a blush going on, there.”

 

And oh, oh no, Taako had just seen him staring at his _sister_ , when she was _shirtless_ , and he felt the blood start draining from his face. “Taako I-I swear, I didn’t see anything. Well, I mean I _did_ , but I didn’t _mean_ to, like I wasn’t _trying_ to see anything, I just-“

 

And Taako was… laughing, now. Like, full-on tipsy-giggles as he slapped the counter in front of them enthusiastically, trying not to choke on his drink. Barry stopped himself talking abruptly, coming to terms with the fact that he couldn’t understand how this elf’s mind worked for the life of him. After gaping for several moments as Taako wiped the tears out of his eyes, he mumbled “ _screw it_ ” and tossed back the glass of liquor in his hand with a wince.

 

 _Yeuugh._ He _hated_ Fireball.

 

He and Taako settled down into a companionable silence for a minute, which Barry supposed he should’ve just appreciated for what it was. Alas, he had just (unwittingly) acquired some new information, and he couldn’t stop his mind from kicking it into high-gear.

 

It was an essential truth of humanoid-socialization that asking the wrong questions could get you in a lot of trouble. Barry had found this to be the primary reason why being a scientist with an unquenchable thirst for knowledge and understanding was a very, _very_ dangerous thing for him.

 _Especially_ when he had been drinking a bit.

 

“Hey Taako, can I ask you a personal question?”

 

The elf looked mildly interested, putting down his (disgusting) whiskey as he met Barry’s eyes. “Sure, but I can’t promise I’ll answer.”

 

Well, that was fair enough. Fair enough to make Barry hesitate. He knew he probably shouldn’t ask. Heck, he definitely shouldn’t ask.

Of course not. He wouldn’t ask.

 

“How are you and Lup identical?”

_Damn it, Barry._

 

Taako blinked, seeming a bit surprised by his question. “You… you _do_ know how identical twins work, don’t you Barry?”

 

Barry blushed. “Well, yes, of course, but-“

 

Taako nodded, lips quirking slightly. “Buuuut?”

 

Barry sighed, “But like- Lup is a girl, and you’re a guy-“

 

Taako nodded again, smiling now. Barry kind of wished he would stop having so much fun with this. “Yeess, Barry?”

Alright, well. Barry really had been worried about asking, but Taako didn’t seem bothered by the subject matter, so here goes nothing…

“So, like… is Lup trans?”

 

Taako paused, for just a moment.

 

Which was, coincidentally, just enough time for Barry to assume that he had _severely_ misjudged the appropriateness of his question, and start preemptively drowning himself in shame. “I’m sorry, that’s- a super personal question, you absolutely don’t have to-“

 

“Yes.” Barry almost missed it amidst his rambling.

 

“Oh.” That explained a lot.

 

Taako raised an eyebrow. “ _Oh_?”

 

 _DAMN it, Barry_.

 

“Not like- _oh_ , oh, just like, I understand why you were mad at me, now.” Barry exhaled heavily, thinking back over words he already regretted, adding a whole new layer of guilt to the mix.

 

“When?”

 

“At the briefing, when I thought you- you were Lup, and so I asked you-but like I thought I was asking _Lup_ where _you_ were, but like-you heard me ask _you_ where your-” Pause. “...not-sister, was.”

 

He ended the sentence lamely, punctuating it with a wince before adding on earnestly. “But really Taako, that wasn’t what I meant. I promise, I’d never say something like that about her.”

 

Barry watched nervously as Taako swirled his glass around in his hands, staring at it pensively and avoiding Barry’s eyes. Maybe he had said too much? Maybe Taako needed time to process? Gods above, this really wasn’t Barry’s wheelhouse. 

 

“You got any family, Barry?”

 

 _Huh?_   “Huh?”

 

“You know, relatives.”

 

“No I-I know what family is, I just…” Barry thought about it, trying to give Taako as honest of an answer as he could. He figured he deserved at least that.

 

“Well, my parents passed away a while back, which- you know, it happens, I’m not exactly a young guy anymore, so... I have a couple cousins, but none that I’m really close to, and,” He shrugged. “I guess I never really got around to having one of my own.”

 

Taako nodded, taking this in. Barry was honestly a little surprised when he responded.

 

“It’s just been the two of us, you know. For a long time.”

He met Barry’s eyes, startling him with the openness of his expression. “We look out for each other, keep each other sane.” Maybe it was a trick of the dim lighting, but his eyes looked like they were shining ever so slightly as he spoke, more softly than Barry had ever heard him.

 

“We’re not just family, Barry. We’re each other’s hearts. You can’t really help but be a little overprotective of someone like that, you know?”

 

He looked back up at Barry and, wow. That was a lot.

 

“I… don’t think I’ve ever had something like that. It sounds… good.” He said gently, _carefully_. “I’m glad you two have each other.”

 

At this, Taako gave a slightly wet chuckle. “Yeah, me too,” he muttered, wiping at the corner of his eyes briefly before fixing Barry with a stern look. “Better not tell anyone I got all gushy-drunk on you, Barry. I have a reputation to uphold.”

 

At this, Barry let out a hearty laugh, feeling the tension in his body relax at the break in this unexpectedly _real_ conversation. This had gone so much better than he expected.

 

“I-uh, I won’t, Taako. Although, if I may say so, I think your reputation on this world is kinda untouchable. I mean, you’re like, _insanely_ good at transmutation,” Barry laughed a little, thinking back to the truly mind-boggling shit he had seen Taako accomplish in the Institute’s arcane training dojo that he had maybe, secretly, snuck in to watch this last week. If his idea of a “light warmup” was to be any indication, then the wizard truly was a force to be reckoned with.

 

Taako smirked. “Better watch that flattery, Bluejeans. It might just go to ole Taako’s head.”

 

Barry shook his head. “No, I mean really, how did you get so good? I mean, you’re what, level 14, at least? Higher?”

 

Taako sighed. “Yeah, yeah, something like that, but ahh…”  And he looked furtively over both his shoulders before leaning in startlingly close to Barry’s face. “You wanna hear a secret?”

 

Barry nodded furiously, not wanting Taako to change his mind and keep him from hearing a _Twin_ secret. That was one of the most exclusive kinds of secret!

 

Taako had a dangerous gleam in his eyes, biting his lip before whispering with what sounded like an insane amount of pride in his voice: “ _Taako once cast a 9 th level spell_.”

 

Barry’s jaw dropped. “That-that shouldn’t even be _possible_ ,” he spluttered. “That would take an _insane_ amount of energy, and-and _precision_ , especially for a lower level wizard-“

 

Taako shook his head. “I couldn’t believe it either,” he whispered, glancing furtively back over towards his drunken twin with glee. “We traveled through some of the narstiest fuckin’ corners of this planet for _years_ just to find the spell. Ended up having to steal this wicked cursed book from a dragon just to get the instructions. Even with that, it took a fuckin decade of practice to get right.”  


Barry thought he couldn’t be impressed any further by the Twins, but gods. They never ceased to amaze him with their resourcefulness and resilience.

“What spell was it _?”_ He asked reverently, reeling in absolute wonderment and awe of the apparent _powerhouse_ he was drinking with.

 

There was that gleam in Taako’s eyes again. “True Polymorph.”

 

Holy _shit._ _True Polymorph_ , the only transmutation spell that could change the shape of a living creature _permanently,_ requiring an immense amount of magical power that usually only sorcerers could achieve.  

 

The gears in Barry’s head were somehow managing to spin too quickly and too slowly at the same time, due to the weird combination of absolute _delight_ at this new information and the numbing effect of the Fireball whiskey. “Taako, casting that spell below level 17 could’ve put you in a fucking _coma_. You, that’s… that’s _incredible!_ But, why that one? “

 

“Oh, you know. To make Lup a little comfier in the ole’ flesh-suit.”

 

Oh, duh. That actually made a lot of sense.

 

But now, something _else_ wasn’t really making sense. Sparing a look back over towards the rowdy elf on the pool table, Barry found himself furrowing his eyebrows.

 

“Did…I mean, not to be rude, but like… did it not work?”

 

“Nah, it worked.” A wicked grin spread across the elf’s face. “Hence why Taako gave _me_ the clean shirt.”

 

Barry blinked.

And he looked down.

And he looked back up again.

_Fuck._

 

Lup reached over to nudge Barry’s glasses a little higher up on his beet-red face. “When we get back from this mission, you might want to consider a higher prescription for these, Barold. After all, we wouldn’t want all my brother’s hard work to go unappreciated.”

 

As Lup tossed back the last of her whiskey and left Barry with a firm pat on the back, he wrote himself a mental reminder to get new glasses in 2 months.

 

That is, if the Twins hadn’t killed him by then.  


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cycle 1: aka, where Barold starts to get some semblence of a clue.

Needless to say, Barry had soon found himself with a _lot_ more time to learn how to tell the Twins apart than initially expected. 

 

Granted, that task was a bit far down on the exponentially growing list of priorities he had found himself with after the _end of the fucking world_ , but still. It was there. 

Especially now that he found himself on the same research project as both sources of his embarrassment. 

 

He probably would have been too nervous to join the dynamic duo in the first place, if it hadn’t been such a fascinating premise for a mission. Sure, finding the Light of Creation and guarding the ship were all well and good, but learning a _universally spoken animal language_? How many unique opportunities like _that_ would he get?

 

Well, a lot, actually. But he didn’t know that yet.

 

What he _did_ know, was that the Twins weren’t the only ones on this planet who seemed dead-set on confusing the hell out of him.

 

 

Lup walked out into the empty clearing, surveying the scene before her with her hands on her hips and her lips pursed thoughtfully. She took in the slow rolling grasses, spilling out over the strange, blue horizon from where the sprawling wood had ended several hundred feet back. A couple dozen yards away, some uneven, rocky hills broke up the scenery, which was entirely still and barren, save for its two occupants.

 

Lup squinted at the single, golden sun off the horizon, and began narrating dramatically to what her companion assumed to be a non-existent audio recording device.

 

“Day seventy-two. Time, who-the-fuck-knows hundred hours. After hours of arduous searching, the brave adventurers, codenamed Lady Flame and Doctor Denim, have finally stumbled upon the groundbreaking discovery of-“ she paused, inhaling before announcing with excessive gravitas, “- _some fucking grass_.”

 

Barry sighed, walking up beside her as he reached for his field notebook to add yet another disappointing footnote. “Lup, I swear I saw a whole herd of antelopes out here not even twenty minutes ago. Where do you think they might have gone?”

 

Lup didn’t answer, continuing to gaze upon the scene before her as if Barry hadn’t spoken.

For a moment, Barry was worried he had mixed her up with Taako again, and broken his ten-day streak of successfully telling them apart. It had only gotten harder as the twins had started wearing their matching IPRE uniforms during the day.

Whenever the twins would laugh over it at his expense, he tried his very best to act like he didn’t care that they were intentionally messing with him. Despite this, he knew that they knew that he would hate to get back to the ship tonight and see the sign on their bedroom door declare:

“It has been **0** days since Barry Bluejeans fucked up.”

 

But then, he remembered the stipulation that Lup had set to him joining them on her brother’s mission, and sighed before reluctantly correcting himself.

 

“ _Lady Flame,_ where do you think they might have gone?”

 

Seamlessly resuming conversation, Lup turned to him brightly. “Beats me! Let’s keep trucking, partner.”

 

Lup started climbing briskly towards the rocky structures at the top of the nearest hill, Barry following absentmindedly as he reviewed his field notes. “It seems like every time we get close, the animals retreat, regardless of species or sub-community size,” he muttered, flipping a page as he came to a halt. “Maybe they have some form of long-range communication we don’t know about?”

 

“Or maybe they can smell you two being geeks from a mile away.”

 

Barry looked up at the sound of Taako’s voice, mildly relieved to hear it. He had wandered off from Lup and himself about an hour ago, which Lup had not seemed particularly concerned about, claiming that “I can sense when he’s nearby, it’s a twin thing, Barry.”    

 

Barry wasn’t sure about that, but he didn’t know enough about twins to refute it.

 

“Hey, Barold.” He now had Taako’s fingers snapping in his face. “Get with it, Barold, Lulu is already losing spectacularly, so you might actually stand a chance.”

 

Barry blinked. Taako was glaring at him expectantly as he clutched the right side of his red cloak closely to his chest. “Sorry Taako, what did you say?”

 

Lup coughed loudly, from where she was poking around the crevices between rocks. “ _Ahem_.”

 

Barry was so done. “Sorry _Flip Wizard_ , what did you say?”

 

Taako groaned, shifting his grip on the cloak. “I _said_ , guess what’s in my cloak, Barold. Lup said a severed head, as if I’d be caught _dead_ with something so grody.”

 

Barry blanked, not liking the setup to this question at all. “This feels like a trap…” he said cautiously, taking a step back from Taako.

 

Taako’s shoulders slumped. “Honestly, the two of you are no fun,” he complained. With a heavy sigh, he released his cloak to reveal a small, furry creature in his other hand. A creature with a long body, narrow snout, beady eyes, and wickedly sharp claws and teeth.

 

Barry stumbled back another few steps in surprise. “ _Is that a mongoose?_ ” He whispered, half-expecting the thing to start tearing Taako’s skin off any second.

 

Taako held up the little creature under its armpits with both hands, undeniable glee in his eyes. “Baby mongoose, Barold. His name is Felix, and he’s my son now.” He turned to present the mongoose to Lup, who squealed in delight before scampering down the rocks to join her brother.

 

“Hi there, little buddy,” she cooed, reaching into her pocket for a piece of jerky and placing it on the ground in front of Taako. The baby mongoose sniffed, before scrabbling out of Taako’s grasp and snapping at the dried meat eagerly.

 

Barry didn’t move any closer to the snacking mongoose, too afraid of making a sudden movement and getting a mean scratch from those sharp-looking talons. Even if it was just a baby, he knew that mongooses on their planet could be vicious.

 

“ _How did you manage to pick it up_?” He whispered at Taako, noting the absence of visible mutilation on the elf’s hands.  

 

Taako snorted. “I didn’t do shit. I was just chilling near his hangout spot for a while and Felix realized cha’boi was cool.” The mongoose finished its snack, and Taako sat down and leaned in to scratch the mongoose gently behind the ears. Barry jumped when the mongoose nipped at Taako’s finger, drawing a little blood, but Taako merely blinked and withdrew his hand, allowing the mongoose to putter around near his lap.

 

Meanwhile, Lup was almost vibrating with excitement, slapping gently at Barry’s shoulder as if to somehow activate excitement in him too. “Fuck yeah, Koko. Think you can get Felix to teach us the lingo?”

 

“Yes, um,” Barry coughed, still eyeing Felix nervously as Takko wiped a drop of blood off his finger. “It’d be quite helpful if we could observe him speaking with the other mongooses, preferably from a distance…”

 

“Slow down there, buckaroos,” Taako replied, a small smile playing on his lips as Felix nosed at his hand, nudging Taako into petting him. “Let’s see if he’s still here tomorrow.”

 

 

To the three explorers’ collective delight, Felix was there tomorrow, and every day for the next week in the exact same spot. He let out what Barry found to be a rather jarring scream upon seeing them, which Taako and Lup found hilarious, for whatever reason.

 

Barry kept his distance all afternoon, taking notes as Lup fed treats to the baby mongoose and Taako tried imitating some of the sounds he was making. Every now and then, the mongoose would try to swipe at Taako, or Lup if she got too close, causing Barry to make distressed noises from behind his notebook.

 

When they got back to the Starblaster one of those nights, Barry suggested bringing some protective gear or some sort of barrier next time, in case the other mongooses decided to make an appearance.

 

“Oh, stop being a baby, Barold.” Taako threw him a dirty look as Barry consulted his field notes from his stool at the kitchen counter.

 

Barry made an indignant noise. “Taako, it’s a sensible precaution, we know nothing about them!”

 

“Aw, c’mon, Bear.” Lup pouted at him over her shoulder as she half-heartedly scrubbed the dishes from dinner, no doubt plotting to cast prestidigitation when Taako wasn’t looking. Taako had cooked for them that night, which Barry appreciated, although he had allowed his plate to grow cold as he flipped through his notebook.

 

Lup eyed Taako, who was eying Barry, who eyed Lup as she sneakily can-tripped the plates clean while she spoke.  “I think they’re cute.”

 

Barry sighed, removing his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose. “Cute or not, I think I might let you guys visit Felix tomorrow without me. If it’s just the one, we can’t properly learn the language, so…” he shrugged. “I can get some other stuff done in the lab.”

 

Lup frowned, drying her hands and walking up beside him at the counter. “Are you sure? I mean, you are kind of the science-dude, my dude.”

 

Barry tried not to feel warm under her question, however half-hearted it may have actually been. Lup had honestly surprised him with how caring she could be, even if she wasn’t particularly considerate. He had come to understand her relentless teasing as being somewhat of a friendly thing, that she did with everyone on the crew. And, thanks to the painfully awkward icebreaker that night at the bar, he could now speak to her in full sentences without blushing.

 

This gave him the ability to tell that she was actually pretty cool, and even if she didn’t seem to respect professional boundaries, she at least seemed to enjoy working with him. 

 

Unlike someone else, Barry could mention.  

 

“Barold can do what he wants, Lulu” Taako drawled, waving a hand in Barry’s direction with a disapproving look on his face. “Besides, three’s a crowd, and all of that.”

 

Barry felt his ears burning, looking down at his notebook pointedly so he wouldn’t have to make eye contact. “Yes, I uh- I trust you two can take care of yourselves, just um… try and give me updates every day, if you can? It doesn’t have to be a formal report, just-”

 

“Yeah, for sure, we can do that,” Lup assured him, before snatching the hat off of Taako’s head. “Dishes are done, I hope it’s to his highness’s royal-ass standards.”

 

 

“I cook, you clean. Them’s the rules, drama queen,” he grumbled, trying and failing to steal his hat back.

 

Barry shook his head, exhaling gratefully as Lup and Taako left the kitchen, now fully immersed in twin-talk, some strange combination of arguing and joking and something in between. They sure were a lot to be around. He didn’t hate it, but he wasn’t sure he loved it either.

 

“Then let me cook for once!”

 

“Sure, if you wanna eat charcoal for dinner.”

 

“ _Excuse_ me?!”

 

Barry sighed. Tomorrow would be a nice break.

 

 

Barry got into a tentative schedule of switching off days between his lab and visiting Felix with Lup and Taako. When he didn’t show up, Lup would stop by to give him a report after, rattling off the events of the day with light in her eyes as she spun herself around on one of the lab chairs. She would poke and prod around the lab as well, asking him a thousand questions about everything that was in there, what did it do, and had he tried setting it on fire yet?

 

Her reports were definitely his favorite part of those days.

 

As the weeks went by, he started going to see Felix less and less, because it seemed like the twins made more breakthroughs when he wasn’t there. The first time Felix let Lup hold him was on a day that Barry wasn’t there. The first successful grunt that Taako was able to imitate was on a day that Barry wasn’t there. The first time Felix brought them some stolen chicken eggs as a present of sorts, guess what; Barry wasn’t there.

 

It couldn’t be a coincidence.

 

And the thing was, Barry wasn’t a quitter. And he had plenty of time to keep trying, with Davenport and Merle off on their own mission. He had tried again and again to approach or speak to the mongoose, but it just kept shrieking at him and trying to scratch him.

 

Barry was dedicated, but he wasn’t about to kill himself over this.

 

“Why does Felix hate me,” he mourned one day, as Lup copied down some of her observations into his field book. She had established her own unofficial space at his desk, and her own chair that he was _not_ allowed to sit in when she was gone, and she could _tell if he had, Barry_.

 

 

“He doesn’t hate you,” Lup replied automatically, eyes scanning the pages as she wrote. She had a habit of mouthing the words as she wrote. “He just doesn’t trust you yet.”

 

Barry groaned in a rather undignified manner. “He lets you pet him, and when I try the same, he tries to take a bite out of my hand!” He frowned at the tiny teeth marks on his palm, which still hurt when he poked at them.

 

“Oh, Barry. Silly, silly Barry.” Lup sighed, resting her chin into her hand as she looked up at him from her notes. “You have much to learn, young grasshopper.”

 

Barry was about to protest that he was in his late thirties, which may not seem like a lot to an elf, in retrospect, but he was interrupted by the lab door banging open.

 

In barged a very irritated looking Taako, clad in just his standard-issue khaki pants and crew-neck T-shirt, with a dirty apron tied around his neck. “Excuse you nerds, I’m working both regular and culinary _magic_ out there, and no one is standing around looking impressed.” He slammed a plate of warm, delicious smelling butter cookies on the desk in front of them with an indignant huff. “Try not to get any chemicals or like, dead bugs on ‘em, or whatever it is you do in here. Freakin’ disgusting.”

 

Lup nearly climbed over Barry’s chair (with him still in it, to his blushing dismay) in order to snatch a cookie and stuff it in her mouth, giving Taako a “nice” sign with her finger and thumb touching as she chewed. To try and assuage Taako’s worries, Barry launched into an explanation of what sort of equipment they had in the lab, and that he actually hadn’t thought about taxonomically preserving any insects before, although it was an interesting thought, only to taper off when Taako walked out of the room 30 seconds later with no explanation.

 

“I…okay.” Barry sighed. Yet another lost cause for him, it would seem. He looked over at Lup, who was munching on another cookie while drawing a sketch of Felix in her notebook. She was also wearing her khaki pants and white T-shirt, with her hair done up like her brother’s today. Yet Barry was starting to wonder how he had ever confused the two of them.

 

After brushing the crumbs off her face, Lup clapped her hands together. “Barry, I’ve made an executive decision. I’m going to coach you in the ways of the mongoose.”

 

Barry blinked. “Huh?”

 

“I know, I know, I don’t have to, but see I _want_ to, Barold. You’re clearly moping about about being left out of Felix’s fan club-“

 

“I’m not-“

 

“-and I totally get it, which is why I’m going to be _so_ nice and help you out.” Lup gave him a sharp, toothy smile, indicating that she was absolutely not to be argued with on this, lest he face her _very_ unprofessional wrath.

 

Barry sighed. “When do we start?”

 

 

 

 

They were sat out on a blanket on the hill by Felix’s hang-out, about ten yards away. Lup had insisted they bring other things to work on, despite Barry’s insistence that this defeated the purpose of visiting in the first place. The mongoose was scampering around Taako, who laid on his stomach on the sun-warmed rocks, eyes closed as he listened to the mongoose chatter. Every now and then, Felix would look over towards Lup where she practiced her spells in curiosity, but he steadfastly refused to come any closer to Barry.

 

Barry had been expecting this, as it was what Felix did every time he was out here, without fail. “You see? He doesn’t like me.”

 

Lup shook her head. “He doesn’t trust you.”

 

“Well, why not? He trusts you and Taako.” Barry wasn’t jealous. Nope. He erased the last sentence in his notebook a little too firmly.

 

Lup chuckled, extinguishing the flame that sat in the palm of her hand. “You’re taking it too personally, Bear. You aren’t out here as much as we are. He just wants to make sure you aren’t gonna leave before he gets any closer.”

 

Barry contemplated the little mongoose, wondering how often visitors came by its home before then. Wondering why it lived so far away from the rest of the animals on this world.

_*_

_Taako was reading on the common room couch, legs sprawled over the back of it like he did most evenings after dinner. He looked up as Barry entered the room with a mug of tea, meeting the human’s eyes curiously over the edge of said book._

_“Mind if I sit here?” Barry gestured to the armchair over in the far corner, his own book clutched in his hand._

_Taako shrugged, mumbling “free ship,” before turning his eyes back to his own book._

_The two read in relative quiet._

_*_

Barry frowned, watching Lup run around with Taako for a while, chasing Felix back and forth across the rocks to play with him. It was an overcast day, and the mongoose seemed rather rambunctious. Felix had grown a bit since they first met him, and despite Barry’s tendency toward the dramatic with this sort of thing, those claws really were nothing to joke about. Even Taako and Lup had acquired some scratches on their ankles from where they had gotten too close, and Felix had lashed out at them with a grunt as they played.

 

“Mongooses aren’t exactly known for being nice animals, you know,” Barry said later that evening, breaking the silence that had fallen as Lup was loitering around the lab once again.

 

Lup hummed, her head leaned back against her chair with her eyes closed. “Yeah, I know.”

 

“That doesn’t bother you?”

 

“Don’t see why it should. Nice isn’t everything.”

 

*

_Barry woke up to a loud banging on his bedroom door. He groaned, but sat up regardless, wondering if it was some sort of emergency. He heard a tinny voice hollering from the other side, far too loudly for whatever early hour of the morning it was._

_“MONGOOSE DIPLOMACY TRAIN LEAVES IN 10 MINUTES BAROLD, WAKE THE FUCK UP.”_

_Another, slightly muted voice shouted from slightly further down the hall: “_ _TAAKO, HUMANS NEED SLEEP”_

_“I REFUSE TO ACKNOWLEDGE EXPERIENCES OTHER THAN MY OWN!”_

_Barry couldn’t help but chuckle, despite how exhausted he was. After all, it was the first time anyone had bothered to give him a wakeup call._

_*_

 

Barry winced, pressing a tissue on the spot where Felix had bitten him. “I was just trying to pet him,” he muttered. He had thought things were going better, after the mongoose had brought him a gift today (half a dead snake).

 

Lup sighed, handing him some antiseptic. “Try not to get frustrated, he was just scared.”

 

Barry look at her in disbelief. “Scared of me? That thing could probably rip me to shreds if it wanted to.”

 

“Doesn’t mean he can’t get scared, Bear. You gotta let him come to you.”

 

Barry watched the top of the hill, where Taako was feeding bits of dried vegetables to Felix, grunting to the agitated mongoose in a couple basic phrases he had managed to pick up. The elf’s face looked bored and disinterested, as usual. It may have been a trick of the light, but Barry thought that maybe his eyes looked a bit softer.

 

“Lup, are we still talking about the mongoose?”

 

“Barry, with all due respect, I think I’d like to name you an honorary doofus.”

 

*

_Taako was in a mood. It was raining, and his hair was frizzy, and they couldn’t go outside, and he couldn’t believe he was stuck on the same ship all day with Magnus (an idiot), Lup (a dingus), Lucretia (a tolerable nerd), and Barry (an **in** tolerable nerd)._

_Barry decided to go to the lab, to get a bit of quiet. On his way there, he told Taako that he could feel free to come hang out in there, if it would be less bothersome than the common room._

_Taako, of course, retorted that why in the gods’ names would he want to do that, he obviously had much better things to do than hang out in some dingy lab, I mean really, Barold, don’t fucking flatter yourself. _

_A couple hours later, the door to the lab opened, and Taako put a plate of cinnamon cookies on Barry’s desk, claiming that he had accidentally made them dairy-free, so Barry might as well do them all a favor and eat something that didn’t give him the shits, for once._

_This time, Barry took a bite of one right away, and told Taako that they were very good._

_Taako scoffed. “I know.” And he left, without another word._

_*_

Felix warmed up to Barry, or so he was told. To be perfectly honest, Barry couldn’t tell the difference between Felix liking him and Felix not liking him. But Lup and Taako both said it was true, and he chose to believe them.

 

The benefit of having Felix like all three of them, it turned out, was him showing them to where the rest of his family lived, in a little maze of holes in a secluded clearing in the forest. The three of them watched in wonderment as the smallest mongoose spoke to his family in the common animal language, which Taako roughly understood to mean that he was telling them that the three ugly aliens were chill.

 

And to his great joy and utter disbelief, when the mongoose family came out to greet them, Barry was included.

 

When the mongoose family taught them their language, Barry was included.

 

When Davenport and Merle returned, and the Twins took joy in grunting out secret animal language conversations to confuse the rest of the crew, Barry was included.

 

He wasn’t quite sure what he had done right. He didn’t quite know if he had won the approval of the Twins individually, or as a unit. If he had done both, he certainly didn’t know which he had done first.

 

But when the Hunger came for them, the same expansive void that had swallowed up their home a year ago, he knew where he had to go. He saw chaos erupt around him, he saw some of his crewmates frozen in horror, shouting warnings, and he saw the Twins bolting out the door, headed for the ship.

 

He followed them without a thought.

 

Taako didn’t slow down for a second, couldn’t slow down with a firm grip on his sister’s wrist behind him. Barry heard him yelling for him to run, almost as an afterthought, but it was more than he gave to anyone other than Lup.

 

Lup blasted every spell slot she had at the Hunger, eyes ablaze with fury. It looked as though her brother’s constant pull was the only thing keeping her from challenging the Hunger to a fistfight right then and there. She took shot after shot at every tendril of darkness she could reach, saving Barry from being snatched up more than once on their way to the ship.  

 

As they flew away, trying to avoid being crushed by grief for their companion Magnus and for yet another lost world, Barry found himself transported back to how he had seen the Twins a year ago today, on the deck of this very ship.

 

At the time, he hadn’t understood the expression Taako wore on his face, appearing almost serene in the face of unthinkable destruction. He wondered if it was shock, or possibly cold apathy. Now, he thought perhaps it was defiance, that he dared the Hunger to try and take him, to take his heart which he held by her robe in a white-knuckled grip. One day, Barry would know better than most that Taako was no coward, and he was ready to take whatever the Hunger had to throw at him, to stand his ground until his dying breath with steady, passive strength.

 

But Lup? Lup he saw instantly. That day, a year before, and thousands upon thousands of days to come, he would see her. And she was _blinding._

Her gaze pierced into the black mass that consumed their home world with unbridled fury, her whole body trembling as she got drunk on the power that burned in her veins, itching to set this reality ablaze with righteous flame. And still he knew the care she held in her heart, saw it in the small circles she traced on her brother’s arm as if to say _I’m here, I’m not going anywhere._

Of all the places Barry imagined he would feel like he belonged, he never thought it would be with an unstoppable force and an immovable object.

 

And yet, here he was.

 

Quite literally, as it turned out. Because he was _literally_ transported back to where he was a year ago, on the deck of that very ship. And that, of course, is where things started getting even weirder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of the lovely, positive responses! They have been so encouraging, and even though this chapter took much longer to get finished than I initially anticipated, I really wanted to get it right. Hope you guys enjoyed!
> 
> ( Please validate me, my search history has so much about mongooses in it now. )


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update took a while. Hope it was worth the wait!

Barry woke up slowly, feeling the soft morning light streaming in through the window on his face. He was so warm and sleepy, he thought he might just drift right back into unconsciousness. That is, if it weren’t for the pesky twinge in his shoulder that demanded his attention. Still half-asleep, he tried to shift his arm to a more comfortable position, but found it pinned down firmly by a weight that covered most of the left half of his body-

 

And then his eyes shot open, as the night before came rushing back to him.

 

The conservatory. The performance. The song.

 

_Lup._

 

His heart started fluttering, and he felt his face growing warm as his full-speed-sprint into coherent thought brought the memories of last night flooding to the forefront of his mind…

 

* * *

 

 

_“What did you want to talk about?”_

_Part of Barry knew that it was a pointless question to ask. All the years they had spent together, working, learning, growing, training, laughing, exploring, and simply existing side-by-side had allowed him and Lup to grow unimaginably close together._

_It had happened, slowly and steadily in the spaces that lay between survival and recovery, and it had kept on happening. Day after day, year after year, until they were best friends, and then beyond that until friends felt like a wholly inadequate term. Barry loved all of the crew like family, now, because how could he not? But Lup had always been different, always been the one that made Barry want to just sit and admire what she was like._

_Lup was everything to him, and had been for a long time. He’d known it, but had been too afraid to give up this sacred liminal space they shared, knowing each other as close friends would, but always with the tension-laden question of “what if.”_

_“Are you really gonna make me spell it out, Barry?” Lup was smiling, as she tended to do at him these days, and yet she looked nervous, which was momentous in and of itself._

_Lup didn’t get nervous. Lup hurled herself off of cliff’s edges into icy waters below because Magnus dared her to, and Lup threw herself in front of Taako to take a lethal hit without a second thought._

_But now, the same Lup tugged at the sleeves of her red velvet dress and looked out over the deck of the Starblaster towards the conservatory, as if to distract herself with the myriad of lights that illuminated the night sky. Her nervousness gave him hope that maybe he was right about this, maybe he hadn’t read everything so terribly wrong that they could never recover from this. Maybe, for once in his life, Barry could be the one who wasn’t afraid._

_He took a deep breath._

_“Lup, I love you,” he started, and she whipped her head around to turn those beautiful purple eyes on him. “I have for a long time, and I – I’ve never been surer of anything in my life.”_

_“Barry,” she breathed, mouth slightly ajar as her eyes grew wide. She was speechless, for the first time in all the time he had known her, and this was it. This was the moment._

_And 40 years ago, Barry would’ve tucked tail and ran from her undivided attention, but not tonight. Not with something as important as this. Barry knew that if he didn’t keep going, if he didn’t say this now, that he would lose his nerve and spend the rest of eternity regretting it._

 

_“Lup, I don’t know how many more lives we have ahead of us. It could be none, or it could be an infinite cycle of regenerations that will one day drive us to madness,” he said, mouth moving as fast as his train of thought could bring it. “But I don’t care that I don’t know. Because I do know that I want to spend each and every last one of them loving you with all I’ve got, because you’re worth all the love I got and more.”_

_He wasn’t sure where he got this confidence from, how his voice wasn’t shaking right now. But Lup’s eyes were shining, and her hands were on her mouth, and she was radiant beyond what any living creature had a right to be, and dammit if Barry couldn’t think a single coherent thought other than how much he **loved** this woman right now._

_“Lup, you’re the best person I’ve ever known, or that I’m ever gonna know in all the lives that I live. So, unless you ask me not to, I would very much like to kiss you right now.”_

_Barry’s heart was pounding out of his chest, and his feet felt weightless as he crossed the distance between them. Her eyes were wide, and she had lowered her hands to hover over her chest. He might’ve panicked at her hesitation, and retreated with his heart in his stomach, were it not for the look on her face as plain as day._

_It was the same look he saw in the mirror, every day when he heard her voice._

_“Well, what are you waiting for, Bluejeans?” She laughed wetly, the joyful sound cut off as he took her face between his hands and kissed her._

_And he **kissed** her. _

_And she was kissing him back so fiercely, and his hands were tangled up in her hair, and her arms were wrapped so tightly around his waist, and they were both laughing and crying and kissing each other breathless. It felt like a thousand beautiful things at once, but nothing more-so than coming home for the first time in his life._

_By the time they finally pulled apart, just breathing into each other’s space, he felt like every fiber of his being was on fire, and gods, if he wasn’t just going to melt if she kept looking at him like that. Like he was even half as special as she was, like he had given her even a fraction of the purpose and meaning that she had given him in their journey._

_Barry caught his breath, nodding his head slightly as if to reassure his light and floaty head that this precious moment had really just happened. “Uh, wow.”_

_Lup chuckled, looking at him affectionately as she wiped the happy tears from his eyes. “I love you too, y’know.”_

_He did know, or strongly suspect, at the very least. But hearing the words still filled his chest with elation the likes of which he had never known._

_“Good, otherwise this woulda been a very awkward conversation,” he mumbled, already leaning in to steal another kiss, wrapping his arms around her waist as if she would float away from him any second, and dammit if he wasn’t getting a little high on the fact that he was able to do this now._

_Lup hummed into it, pressing her body closer to him in a way that sent tremors running up his spine, adrenaline starting to spark up a flicker of heat in his belly. “Huh?” she said vaguely, as she moved her hands up to drape around his neck, refusing to let him create more than an inch of space between them, as if he would ever dream of it._

_“Talk,” Barry said after a good half-minute of increasingly intense kissing, which was starting to border on full making-out-like-human-teenagers, on the open deck of the Starblaster._

_He found himself having to mumble the words out in between the few moments where her lips (soft, sweet, warm, tastes like cinnamon whiskey) weren’t on his. “We…should…probably…talk…some…more…about…this.”_

_He nearly choked on his own breath when Lup’s nails scratched gently at the nape of his neck, and ran the tip of her tongue along the edge of his lips. Gods help him, his heart was gonna give out._

_“Yeah,” Lup breathed, and Barry had to suppress a very un-masculine noise as she bit her teeth gently into his lower lip, just for a moment before releasing it. “We definitely should talk, Bear,” she said quietly, all the while looking very much like she didn’t believe a word she was saying._

_His addled brain managed to register that her eyes were getting that hungry look in them, the one she got when she wanted something and would stop at nothing to get it. He had seen it many times over the years, and knew it well. But for the first time, he was faced with the very pressing reality of having it directed right at **him**. _

_“But here’s the thing,” she sang, clearly enjoying this, and he was so far past the point of being embarrassed when his face all but melted into her hand as she pet at the stubble on his cheek._

_“We’ve got all the time in the world to talk,” and she jerked her head towards the door to the ship’s interior with a wicked grin._

_“But only an hour or so with an empty ship.”_

_And, well. Barry couldn’t argue with that logic if he wanted to._

* * *

 

Barry felt the butterflies return to his stomach when he turned his head and saw Lup, half-sprawled across his chest as she continued to doze peacefully. She looked…well, kinda blurry to be honest, as Barry had thankfully remembered to take off his glasses before they passed out last night. But nothing could’ve possibly erased the memory of how she looked from his mind, how her hair had gleamed under the stadium lights, how her eyes had shone in the moonlight on the deck. Or the look on her face when she finally-

 

-aaand Barry had a problem, now. _Shit_.

 

Lup stirred slightly with a grumble, and Barry tried very hard _not_ to think about how she was still cuddled half on top of him, the two of them still _very much naked_ beneath his covers.

Maybe he could will this particular problem away, if he just focused on anything other than how soft and warm her skin was against his. Or how overwhelming it had been to see her in all of her glory, and to kiss her, and touch her, and have her touching him, and-

 

-nope, not going away anytime soon. Well, maybe Lup wouldn’t notice.  

 

The elf in question seemed to be squirming herself awake now, and Barry quickly mage-handed his glasses from the bedside table so he could see her better. Her eyes were still shut, and he noticed with a flush that her hair and makeup from last night were quite thoroughly mussed up. She rolled off of him and yawned widely, scrunching up her face and groaning as the bright light shone through her eyelids. Taako always said she was a mess when she slept instead of meditating, and now Barry got to see it for himself.  

 

He was smiling like an idiot. “Good morning.”

 

She grunted. “Mrn’ng.” She flopped back over onto his chest and hid her face in his neck, presumably escaping the evil sunlight. Barry pressed a kiss onto the top of her head, and she hummed, kissing the closest spot on his neck that she could reach in return.  

 

And Barry allowed himself to revel in the beauty of just how greatly their relationship had changed, how last night was really just their final leap into the amazing thing they had built together. He hadn’t known he had the capacity for this much love, this much growth as a person. For the first time in a long time, Barry was actually kinda proud of himself.

 

Lup shifted where she lay sprawled across him, and lifted her head up to blink at him sleepily as she cleared her throat.

“I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I’m gonna need some coffee before hittin’ that morning grind, Care-Bear,” she said, nodding her head back towards the covers at their hips with a smile.

 

Scratch everything Barry had just thought: he was an embarrassment to humanity.

 

* * *

 

 

“Nice performance last night, Barry.”

 

Barry choked, sending scalding hot coffee up his windpipe and spluttering out of his mouth. He coughed, face burning as he shakily set the mug back down on the counter.

 

“What?” Barry rasped, thumping his chest and trying to stay calm as Taako watched him, ears twitching in slight amusement. The elf was in his monogrammed silk pajamas that one of his fanatic students had given him as a gift, and he was sipping slowly from his own mug of steaming black coffee.

 

“The song,” Taako drawled, raising his eyebrows at Barry at the man stared at him blankly. “That you and Lup did? It sounded nice, so take the fucking compliment.”

 

Oh, right, the _performance_. Get it together, Barry. “Uh, thanks Taako, you did good too.”

 

“Natch.” Silence fell once again as Barry hastily resumed the task of fixing coffee. It was almost always comfortable silence between them, so Barry really must’ve been imagining the tension in the otherwise empty kitchen. This was fine. Everything was fine.

 

He clinked around in the silverware drawer before adding a teaspoon of sugar to two mugs, and then a second and third to Lup’s mug as well, trying not to overthink the presence of the unnervingly identical elf beside him. He briefly wondered if he ought to say anything to Taako, about what happened with him and Lup. I mean, surely, he had noticed she hadn’t come to their room last night, so it would be considerate, right?

 

He winced, before shaking off the thought. _Absolutely not_. He and Taako were friends, close friends at this point, but Lup was his _sister._ That had to be crossing a _thousand_ different boundaries. Besides, Lup didn’t always meditate at the same time as Taako, so. No need to subject himself to unnecessary mortification, right?

 

“Top shelf,” Taako said, interrupting his thoughts. Huh?

Oh yeah, Barry had been standing in the fridge door for a good twenty seconds now, spacing out. Mumbling his thanks, he snatched the soy milk off of the top shelf and splashed it in both mugs of coffee.

 

“You alright there, Barold?” Taako was definitely staring at him now, and _shit_. Barry always gave himself away.

 

“Yeah, just uh, feeling kinda out of it,” Barry said awkwardly, putting the milk back in the fridge with a very forced laugh.

 

“Hm.” Taako looked him over, seeming mildly concerned, which would’ve been rather endearing and considerate of him under _literally_ any other circumstances. “Didja get enough sleep, my dude?”

 

 _Not even a little bit._ “Yeah, yep, sure did, full eight hours. Just need some coffee, is all.” Barry took a hearty gulp, feeling his eyes water as the coffee was still just on the wrong side of too-hot to have done that. _Fuck, that burned._

 

Fortunately, Taako seemed to accept his excuse, giving him a shrug. “Well, if you’re sure. I made coffee cake, by the way.”

 

Barry tried not to visibly sag in relief as the elf pushed himself off of the counter and strolled out of the kitchen. _Thank the gods._

That had been _way_ too close to mortifying for this hour of the morning, and he just wanted to be back in bed. His warm, cozy bed, where the love of his life was waiting for him to bring her coffee.  

 

But first. Taako was both a morning person and an _excellent_ baker, and the tin-foil wrapped coffee cake on the stove smelled _amazing._

 

Later, Barry found himself quite glad that he had stopped to cut a slice. He might’ve had to prematurely throw himself off the Starblaster deck if he had left it there, and allowed one of the other crew members to read the words so artfully drawn in icing, which made Lup dissolve into howling laughter, and made _him_ hide his face in the covers for an hour and a half:

 

 

 

 “CONGRATS ON THE SEX”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it!! Leave comments below <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry is blinded by love and other things. 
> 
> (Sucker.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *grimaces* heyyy guys. 
> 
> I know this chapter has been a long time coming. Would you believe I tried a half dozen different ways for this chapter to go and didn't like any of them? 
> 
> Needless to say, I think this one was worth the wait. Please, enjoy ;)

Below the deck of the Starblaster lived a strange, bioluminescent creature with seemingly magical abilities; a precious find from a lost planet that now held a sacred place in Barry’s heart. He would go down to see it, from time to time, allowing himself to feel and process the sort of bittersweet melancholy that came from looking at the last of a species. Fisher seemed to fit in with the seven of them in that way. They weren’t just the last of their species, they were the last survivor of their entire _planet_. The last of a rich and diverse culture, where everyone was able to live comfortably and spend their time in pursuit of greater knowledge and development of the arts. The last of a utopic world, where the greatest source of conflict was nothing more than a friendly competition between schools.

 

The last of the planet where he and Lup’s blossoming love finally came to fruition.

 

It was tragic. It was beautiful. It was almost powerful enough to keep Barry from trying to study the creature.

 

_(almost)_

 

“Nuh-uh, not happening, Barry.” The burly fighter shook his head from where he sat hunched over on a wooden stool, which frankly looked far too small to support his weight.

Magnus had made a habit of whittling by Fisher’s tank in his spare time, having taken a particularly strong liking to the little creature. He claimed it was to keep Fisher from getting lonely, but Barry was starting to think his company might just be aimed at thwarting Barry’s research efforts, which he had periodically been attempting through the five cycles since they had found their new friend.

 

“C’mon, Mags,” Barry whined, staring longingly at the diverging light trails that appeared to be tracing Fisher’s vasculature. “I’m not gonna hurt ‘em or anything, I just want to scrape off a few skin cells.”

 

“No-pe,” Magnus replied, popping his ‘p’ with a casual stubbornness that told Barry that his normally helpful and accommodating friend wasn’t going to budge on this. “I’m not letting you do any of your spooky death-magic experiments on Fisher.”

 

Barry blanched, letting out a nervous chuckle as he tugged on his collar. “Wha- Magnus, I’m not- that isn’t-“

 

Magnus rolled his eyes and absentmindedly waved down Barry’s spluttering with the knife in his hand, causing Barry to have to lean backwards to avoid getting lightly stabbed. “Barry, the fact that you do necromancy is the worst kept secret on this ship. No one cares.”

 

Barry groaned, slumping down in his chair as he felt relief and embarrassment start sweeping out the mild panic he had felt at being caught. “Even worse than Merle’s ‘recreational plant’ garden?” he mumbled hopefully.

 

Magnus made a curious noise, furrowing his eyebrows. “What’s recreational about his plants?”

 

“Never mind.” Barry sighed, leaning across the small table on his hands and resigning himself to observe Fisher from a distance. He supposed there could be worse things than just having a really cool pet he wasn’t allowed to investigate. At all.

 

As if they were able to detect his thoughts, Fisher glowed bright pink and let out a happy little song, earning a soft ‘aww’ from Magnus and even managing to coax a reluctant smile out of Barry.

 

 _Lup would love this_ , he thought. She had mentioned that she had an ongoing project to try and feed Fisher as many memes from their old planet as possible, so they could project them again every year. That way, the native people of every planet they visited would get her references, and everyone would understand how fucking funny she was.

 

He fully intended to co-author the paper.

 

“You’re thinking about Lup again, aren’t you?” Barry lifted his cheek from its place on his palm to find Magnus looking at him bemusedly. 

 

“Huh?” He blinked. “How could you tell?”

 

“You have an ‘ _I’m thinking about Lup’_ face.”

 

“This is just my regular face,” Barry protested, which only made Magnus’s grin wider. Realizing what he had said, Barry laughed and gave Magnus’s arm a shove. He nearly hurt himself in the process, since the kid was apparently made of muscle.

 

“Ha ha, go ahead and make fun,” he said drily, as Magnus giggled. “I don’t care, Lup is awesome and I love her. The whole planar system can know, as far as I’m concerned.”

 

To his surprise, Magnus shook his head, huffing out the rest of his laughter and sitting up a little straighter. “No, I- I’m not trying to make fun of you, Barry, I think it’s really sweet.”

 

Oh. Well, that was nice of him to say. “Thanks, Mags.”

 

Magnus almost looked a little dreamy now, whittling absentmindedly by the soft glow of Fisher’s light. After a few peaceful moments, he spoke up quietly. Well, quietly for Magnus, anyway.

 

“Hey, Barry?”

 

“Yeah, bud?”

 

Magnus hesitated, and the sound of wood being gently shaved away ceasing as his hands stilled. “Do you think we’ll ever stop this?”

 

Barry looked at him questioningly. “This?”

 

Magnus gestured around them. “This, the whole- running from the Hunger, finding the light, leaving people behind…thing.”

 

Oh. Right. _That._

Barry had never seen the fighter look tired before, but he seemed so now. It was easy to forget, with how strong he was, and how much they had been through, that Magnus was still just a kid at heart. He was eighteen when he first got on the Starblaster, with his whole life ahead of him. Over half a century had gone by, and he was still in an eighteen-year old’s body. Still trapped on a ship with the same six people as his only constants.

To be honest, Barry didn't know the answer, yet. But Magnus didn't need to know that. “Hey.”

Magnus looked at Barry sheepishly, and he took his hand and gave it a comforting squeeze. “We’ll find a way. We’re not giving up on this, not ever.”

 

Magnus gave him a smile, squeezing his hand back ( _ow ow ow OW)_. “Yeah, I know, I just- ugh,” he slumped across the table and groaned, but Barry could tell he was playing it up a bit, now. After all, it was hard to keep Magnus upset about anything for too long.

 

“I wanna be in looove, Barry,” he whined, pouting like a giant puppy dog.

 

Ah. So that's why he mentioned him and Lup before.

Barry had heard this little tangent before, but he humored Magnus anyway. “Really? You want to settle down?” At this point, it was honestly a struggle to say that with a straight face.

 

“Yes!” Magnus sat up ramrod straight, and if he had a tail, he’d probably be wagging it now. “I want to find my dream girl, and build her a house, and get married, and have like, seven dogs!”

 

It was honestly cute how often Magnus talked about his “dream girl” who he just hadn’t met yet. It tended to keep the crew’s spirits up during the bad years, give them something to fight for, and all of that. It may have been hard to picture the mountain of a man living in a tiny cottage somewhere, but he deserved it. Magnus was endlessly protective, willing to sacrifice anything to keep people safe, and he was good and kind and gentle underneath his hotheadedness. Barry could tell that if he got the chance to grow up and mellow out a bit, he’d make a really good husband to someone.

 

“And what will this ‘dream girl’ be like, Magnus?” Barry asked in amusement.

 

“I don’t know. It’d be pretty cool if she could beat me at arm wrestling,” Magnus blushed. “But it doesn’t matter. I just want a chance to love her, and not have to say goodbye after a year, y’know?”

 

Barry nodded understandingly. “Yeah, I know. I really lucked out.” Noticing Magnus start to get sad again, he nudged the fighter playfully with his elbow. “Hey, there’s always Taako.”

 

Magnus snorted, shaking his head with a smile. “Even if I was into guys, you know what he’d say…”

 

Magnus and Barry put on their best, most nasally Taako voices, easily speaking in unison after many year of practice: “ _There’s no man alive that’s good enough for Taako_! _”_

 

By the time Magnus stopped giggling, he seemed to have been thoroughly cheered up, as indicated by him returning his attention to his whittling.

 

That was great. Barry was glad he could help.

 

Except for that little, selfish part of Barry (ie. his whole brain) that was terribly, terribly bored.

 

Which, right. He had only come down here to try and distract himself because Davenport gave them the day off, and Lup had elected to take Lucretia into the nearest city for a designated “girls day.”

* * *

 

  _“How could you betray your own flesh and blood like this?” Taako whined, following Lup around the Twin’s bedroom like a very annoying shadow as she searched for her makeup.”Leaving me alone all day with these savages?”_

_“Taako, I’m right here.” Barry was, in fact, sitting on Lup’s bed, having slept in here last night after helping Taako and Lup clean out their closet. It was a tricky task, seeing how one of the unexpected side effects of being with Lup was that her possessions were now distributed equally between the Twins’ room and Barry’s room._

_Apparently, ‘her possessions’ included Barry._

_Lup only hummed as she touched up her eyeliner in the mirror. She looked stunning, as always. “It’s one day, Taako. I want some quality time with Lucy, ‘cause that girl_ desperately _needs some shoes that can’t be described as ‘sensible.’ “_

_“First, you take my clothes, then you take my shoes, **then** you take my freedom of choice,” Taako huffed, doing a belly flop onto his bed which even Barry rolled his eyes at. “Wanna take anything else from me, dearest darling-est sister?” _

_Without looking away from her mirror, Lup spoke carefully around the lipstick she was applying, trying to talk without letting her lips touch. “Aye-ohnt-yew-ache-yur-shelf-ah-fuv-iiii -ick.”_

 

_Taako made an indignant noise at that, though his response was equally muffled by the mountain of covers his head was now buried in. “Buh-cuz-aye-ah-ray-dee-cuh-tit-awf-ore-yew-ich!”_

_Lup smacked her lips together neatly, before checking her teeth for residual lipstick. “You and I have very different recollections of that day, broseph. And I didn’t take your fucking clothes ,so…” she turned back to the two of them with a smile. “Time for ya girl to head out! Don’t wait up, boys.” Taako threw a pillow at her head, barely missing her._

_Unfazed, she stepped over to Barry to give him a kiss goodbye, which was one of his favorite kinds of Lup kisses, right behind ‘good morning’ and ‘I missed you.” They were sweet, but with a little bit of heat to them, just like her. He hummed, giving a gentle stroke along the curve of her right ear, which always made her shiver. Grinning wide enough to break the kiss, he pulled back to look at her fondly before giving her a quick peck on the lips. “Bye.”_

_She looked back at him, doing that cute thing where she screwed up her mouth to try and keep herself from smiling too wide. “Mmkay. Bye.” And she leaned in to give him another peck._

_“Bye.” He smiled dopily, and couldn’t resist kissing her again._

_She giggled, despite her best efforts. “Bye.” She leaned in again-_

_“I am gonna kill you both with my bare hands and also this wand, now getthefuck oouuttttt” Taako droned impatiently._

_Lup rolled her eyes, and walked out of the room as Taako continued to feign annoyance, probably just for the sake of being difficult. Barry had known for ages that Taako liked them together, and Lup had reassured him that the elf was perfectly comfortable around Barry.  So, he was content to ignore Taako’s protests against their PDA for now._

_Instead, Barry turned his attention towards wiping plum colored lipstick off his face with his thumb, sighing giddily. He was happy._

_Even more so when Lup sprinted back into the room 5 seconds later, proceeding to peck him once more at the speed of light and gleefully whisper “bye” into his ear. As she fled the room, cackling and flipping off her screeching brother, Barry started counting his lucky stars._

* * *

 

Barry started meandering about the upper floor of the ship, looking for something to do to occupy his time. Davenport was sitting by the bay window in the kitchen, reading some sort of novel he had picked up planetside. Merle was in the greenhouse, and Barry knew better than to interrupt Merle while he was talking to his plants. He entertained the thought of spending some time with Taako, but a quick peek into the large common room showed the elf in question quietly napping beneath his signature hat.

 

Barry sighed. He was _bored_. He had kinda been banking on being able to hang out with Taako today, since he always seemed to know how to relax the most efficiently. He secretly thought of him as a brother-in-law now, although Lup had been clear that she didn’t want them to get married until Taako found someone too, so that they could have a double wedding ‘ _for the aesthetic, Bear.’_  Barry had agreed wholeheartedly, and in doing so, he knew that he also agreed to the unspoken message that they were a package deal.

 

 But half of that package deal would _not_ be in a good mood if Barry interrupted his beauty sleep right now, so he was on his own for the time being. Reluctantly, he headed off to his room to take a nap, hoping his beautiful girlfriend would be back by the time he woke up.

 

He was starting to feel a bit silly about how much he missed Lup after only a few hours. He couldn’t help it though, he just wanted her to be back. Days off were no _fun_ without her.

 

 And also, well.

Okay, yeah, Barry could admit it. He was an adult.

 

He hadn’t gotten much _alone_ time with Lup lately, either. With all the research he’d been running on the light this cycle, they were both getting a little bit antsy.

The sex was by no means the best part of his relationship, but _gods_ was it ever good. And Lup, insatiable as she was, seemed to like it just as much, if not _more so_ than him, so yeah.

 

Definitely a welcome addition to Barry’s life all-around.

 

An idea came to him, and he perked up. Maybe he could set up something romantic in his room for when she came home? Lay out some rose petals, levitate some scented candles, wine, the whole works. And if she wasn’t in the mood, he could run a nice bath for her instead, and just listen to her tell him about her day. He smiled, marching off to his room to start setting things in motion, only to pause as he heard a strange thump coming from inside.

 

Curious, he quietly cracked open the door, surprised and delighted to see Lup rustling around inside his closet, searching for something on her tiptoes while half obscured by the mess of disorganized robes and jeans that he had accumulated throughout the years.

 

 _She must have come home early_ , he thought, noting that she had changed into the little black dress that always made his mouth go dry on date nights. Barry felt his pulse pick up at the thought of what she might be looking for in there, and the increasing possibility that she had been thinking along the same lines as _he_ had been all day.

 

Feeling a just a _tiny_ bit smug, he realized he had the rare opportunity to catch _her_ off guard for once, which only seemed fair after the amount of times that she had pulled him aside in a supply closet and cast Silence on it.

 

Sneaking up behind her, he saw her tense at the sound of footsteps, realizing she had been caught sneaking back in. Grinning widely, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her flush against his hips, already excited to have her back in his arms after so little time apart. Chuckling when she let out a muffled, surprised noise, he playfully ground their hips a little closer together and put his lips against the back of her neck, whispering into her warm skin.

 

“Looking for something, sexy?”

He frowned when he noticed that she still felt far too tense, and still hadn’t spoken since he’d made himself known, and he wondered with concern if he had misread the situation. “Babe?”

 

He turned her around in his arms to see if she was upset, and- why did she have a glowing wand between her teeth? And why was her hair grown out aga-

 

Oh.

Oh, n-

_Oh, nooooooooooooo._

 

* * *

 

 

Lucretia and Lup were just walking up the beaten path that led to where the Starblaster hovered, about 50 feet off the ground. They were laden down with shopping bags, because _who gives a shit if it’s cliché, Lucy_ , _half these planets don’t even have stores_. They were both tired, but in good spirits. Lup had just been preparing to cast Levitate on them both when she noticed her Stone of Far-speech start glowing blue.

 

 That was weird. Taako hadn’t called her all day.

 

Lucretia waited patiently as Lup tapped on her stone three times and played the voice message. They both startled when Taako started rambling in fast-paced elvish that Lucretia couldn’t quite catch all of. She was better with the written language, really. There were too many regional dialects on their home planet for her to have learned them all. It also didn’t help that Taako’s voice was pitched _way_ higher than normal, and he sounded kinda frantic.

 

But she did catch a few easy words, like “Barry” and “Minor Illusion.” And something about clothes.

‘Lost’ clothes?

No, wait: ‘stolen’ clothes.

 

 

“Lup, what’s going on?” She looked to her companion, only to see the elf ‘s eyes had gone wide and her hand was over her mouth. She looked to be shaking slightly, and her eyes were starting to water.

 

Lucretia put her hand on her shoulder, concerned. “Lup, did something happen? Is everything all right?”

 

She stepped back when Lup lowered her hand from her mouth, revealing that she was nearly red in the face and crying from trying to suppress her laughter, an absolutely delighted grin upon her face. She took a deep breath in and fanned herself, before speaking with enormous strain.

 

“Lucy, hon, this day just went from _good_ to _great_.” She held out her hand and made a grabbing motion. “Now hand me that makeup bag, I need mascara running down to my tits in T minus 60 seconds.”

 

* * *

 

 Merle poked his head out of the greenhouse door and grumbled. He’d been in the middle of pruning his begonias ( _which was **not** a euphemism, Magnus_!) when he heard some sort of commotion coming from the common room. From here, it sounded like someone was listening to one of those corny Elvish soap operas, but he could’ve sworn that the Twins had said that those frequencies were racially insensitive. Or was it reductive?

Aw, whatever. Point is, he wasn’t supposed to listen to ‘em anymore, which meant no one _else_ should be doin’ it either. 

 

To his surprise, when he walked into the common room, he found Magnus, Davenport, and Lucretia watching Lup and Taako like a tennis match. They were both shouting at each other in rapid-fire Elvish, gesticulating widely and occasionally pantomiming something or another, and Lup was periodically letting out loud sobs as Taako turned to point an accusatory finger at Barry and start screeching at him.

 

  Barry himself was currently sitting on the couch, his face completely white, and his eyes looking absolutely dead. A few times, it looked like he was opening his mouth to say something, but was immediately cut off by Lup or Taako.

 

Well, this was kinda weird. Last time he checked, those three were all lovey-dovey on each other. Or those two, plus Taako. He didn’t really know or care, but this fighting was giving him a headache.

 

He squinted at the twins and -hang on. Was Taako laughing?

 

Oh yeah, the kid definitely just buried a laugh in a well-placed cough, as Lup jumped back in with her screaming to cover the sound, and oh yeah, she was definitely faking it too. Those mascara lines looked _way_ too neat.

 

Well, that would explain why Magnus and Davenport were burying snickers into their fists, but still. What the hell happened?

 

He stayed to watch until Barry tried to covertly ask Davenport permission to off himself for the rest of the cycle, which sparked a fresh wave of dramatics from Tweedle-dumb and Tweedle-dumber. At that point, Merle decided that those two kids were having _way_ too much fun with whatever this nonsense was, and his plants still needed him.

 

Aw, well. It was probably none of his business anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation of the muffled twin speak, for those who need it: 
> 
> Lup: "Why don't you take yourself off of my dick?" 
> 
> Taako: "Because I already cut it off for you, bitch!"
> 
> (only Taako is allowed to joke about it)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite what his demeanor may suggest, Barry has always been a couple bad days away from becoming a mad scientist. It hasn't really gotten him in too much trouble, though. 
> 
> Until now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: swearing, shouting, general angst. 
> 
> This took so long because it was hard to write. Necessary, but hard.

“You’re hiding something from me, aren’t you?”

 

Barry jerked his face up from where it had slowly been creeping closer and closer to the pages of his notebook, like gravity was getting stronger as the night dragged on. He hadn’t noticed it. But then, he hadn’t exactly noticed the lab door opening either.

Yes, it was safe to assume that Barry’s focus had completely abandoned the outside world in favor of delving into the complex machinations of necromancy.

 

Again.

 

But now he was back, and it was sometime after midnight. He wasn’t _quite_ sure if he had eaten that day, and he was fairly confident he had a sticky note somewhere on his face. It was for reasons including, but not limited to these, that he found the most coherent response he could provide his sudden visitor with to be:

 

“..wha? Huh?”

 

He blinked a few times at the blurry elf ( _Did he have his glasses on? He did wear glasses, right?)_ who eventually took the shape of Lup, her arms crossed as she delivered what he vaguely hoped to be the _fond_ type of exasperated look. But then, his head was still buzzing from a strong pot of this planet’s closest equivalent to coffee, and he was only 70% certain that she wasn’t Taako right now, so his reading on her emotions might not be as accurate as it’s ever been.

 

“You. Loverboy. Hiding something. From me. Are you?” Was that what she said the first time? _Shit_ , Barry should’ve been listening. She didn’t _seem_ angry, but you could never be sure. She impatiently tapped her fingernails on the surface of his desk, watching him try to slap himself into alertness as he thought of a suitable response.

 

Which, right. _That._

 

He didn’t _mean_ to keep it a secret from her, not forever. He was gonna tell her, he was just…putting it off. For a few cycles.

_Maybe he could put it off just a little bit longer?_

 

“Babe, um,” he coughed uncomfortably, “what makes you think that I’m-“

 

 ** _Thump._** Lup tossed a heavy journal onto his desk in front of him, and Barry didn’t even have to look to know which one it was.

 

_Well, asked and answered, dipshit._

 

Fuck, wait, had she been holding that the whole time? When had she gotten here?

Barry _really_ needed to get some sleep.

 

“ _Ahem.”_ Lup looked mildly unimpressed with him as she resumed drumming her nails on the desk, and oh, yeah. Right. He almost forgot he was in the middle of getting caught with metaphorical pudding on his hands. (Not a euphemism, Taako had just found a new way to amuse himself)

 

He sighed dejectedly. “How did you find that?”

 

Lup chewed on her lip as she leaned onto his desk on her elbows, fidgeting in a way that told him her patience was wearing thin. “If you _must_ know, Guilty McGuilt-Jeans, I was looking for your stash of peanut butter candy-“

 

“Babe, you’re allergic-“

 

“Don’t change the subject.” She tapped on the journal expectantly. “You’ve been acting hella sketchy, and you aren’t taking care of yourself, and I’m getting a feeling that this bad-boy right here has something to do with that. Y’know, seeing how its oh-so-suspiciously encrypted, and all.”

 

It wasn’t a question, but Barry still nodded sheepishly. As embarrassing as it was, he really had been far more transparent than he realized.

 

 Lup exhaled heavily, and he noticed with a pang that the shadows on her face weren’t just from the dim candlelight. She looked tired too.

 

“Since when do we keep secrets from each other, Bear?”

 

And maybe Lup thought she had successfully hidden the hurt in her voice with that Taaco™ Brand deflection, but Barry heard it. Or rather, he felt it, wringing out his gut like a dirty, lying washcloth, and he was so _stupid, you knew this was gonna happen, you’re an awful, terrible person._

 

“I know, babe, and I’m so, so sorry _,”_ he pleaded, and he tentatively put a hand over hers and squeezed it, trying to give some semblance of comfort in wake of his massive fuckup. “I know, I should’ve told you sooner, but I thought…”

 

He trailed off with a sigh, because really, did it even matter now? He was probably- no, definitely. He was _definitely_ wrong not to tell her in the first place.

 

This was Lup, after all. She was _so_ smart. Smart enough to understand why he had to do this, right?

 

Tentatively, he broke the silence. “Well… what did you think?”

 

Lup blinked, soft confusion on her face. “Huh?”

 

“What did you think of my plan?”

 

“ _Plan?_ Bear, I didn’t _read_ this, _”_ she said, sounding more than a little affronted at the idea as she pushed the book towards Barry. “I would _never_ invade your privacy like that.”

 

Barry made a face at her.

 

“What? I’m serious!”

 

He scrunched his nose. 

 

“Okay _fine_ , I couldn’t break the encryption, asshole.” _There it was._ Barry grinned, leaning over to peck her on the nose as she stuck her tongue out at him. She seemed to have forgiven him already, if her sudden interest in the contents of the book was to be any indicator.

 

“So, what kind of plan are we talkin’ bout, here?” She bounced her eyebrows a couple times. “Cause I was over here thinking you were just hiding some real _nasty_ porn from me.”

 

Barry placed his hands over the book to start reversing the encryption spell. This would probably just be easier than explaining. “No, honey. It’s not porn.”

 

“Aw, man.” He closed his eyes and started murmuring the incantation. To Lup’s credit, he made it about halfway through unlocking it before-

 

“Is it about your secret affair with my brother?”

 

He choked on air for a moment, his furious coughing causing him to have to start over again. “For the thousandth time, that was a misunderstanding” he groaned, flushing as he cracked open his eyes for a second to peek at her. “How long are you going to keep bringing that up?”

 

Lup grinned, planting her chin atop her folded hands gleefully as she stared at him. “For as long as it’s funny.”

 

Barry sighed, closing his eyes again as he started over. _Let’s see_ , _where was he_ … _Restore the glyphs thus un-bespoke, with these words, thy-_

“Is it about your secret jean-fetish? Because I can try to keep an open mind-“

 

He cracked an eye open.  “Lup, honey, I do have to focus on this for a second.”

 

She mimed zipping her lips. “Okay, sorry.”

 

“Thank you.” _Ahem_. _With these words, thy curse revoke. Let true sight cast on-_

 

“I’ll shut up about your jetish.”

 

“ _Lup_.”

 

She snickered, but seemed satisfied enough not to distract him again. Barry couldn’t help the way his lips turned up, the barest hint of a smile as he finished decoding the journal.

 

“Well… here you go.” With a nervous chuckle, he slid the journal across the desk to his girlfriend, who immediately flipped it open and started reading.

 

Normally, Barry loved to watch Lup read, as her ears twitched and her eyes scanned the pages erratically, flipping the pages loudly and quickly as if she couldn’t be bothered to wait more than a second and a half between words. But he was too nervous now, watching anxiously as he tried to decode the expressions on her face, try to gain some insight into what she was thinking.

 

Alas, Barry had sadly not become a mind reader overnight, and so he was left in the dark, waiting in the room with nothing but the sound of their breathing and the occasional flip of a journal page.

 

Finally, after what felt like hours of waiting, Lup quietly closed the journal, placing it gingerly back on the desk between them. She cleared her throat, pressing her palms flat together in front of her mouth, meeting Barry’s anxious gaze calmly.

 

“Hey Barry?” she said, pointedly breaking the silence.

 

He blinked, sitting up straighter. “Yeah?”

 

She smiled, tilting her wrists down to point her hands at him.

 

“ _What –_ and I cannot stress this next part enough – **_the fuck_** _.”_

 

* * *

 

 

Barry didn’t participate much in the first 15 minutes or so of the discussion that followed. That was mostly Lup informing him in no uncertain terms _exactly_ what she thought of his plan.

 

But then, he _had_ anticipated that she wouldn’t be thrilled at the idea of him turning himself into a lich.

 

* * *

 

“Look, it’s really not as dangerous as it sounds-“

 

“Oh, _okaaaay_! Well why didn’t you just say so?!” Barry grimaced at the overly sarcastic tone Lup had adopted as their ‘discussion’ approached the half-hour mark.

 

Usually, when Lup was playing up being angry or offended, she was all shrewd glares and playground insults. But right now, she looked all the part of a woman possessed, seeming borderline gothic in the eerie light and contrast of the laboratory. She was fuming as she stalked the length of the room, storming anywhere except for where Barry now sat with his hands on his temples.

 

She continued, giving a humorless laugh as she threw her hands in the air. “Yeah, sure, what could _possibly_ be dangerous about ripping out your _fucking soul_ with _blood magic_?!”

 

Barry sighed. _This was exactly why he didn’t want to tell her._

 

Lup paused in her pacing, whipping around to face him. “What **.”**

 

  _Fuck, he said that out loud, didn’t he._

“So, you were just going to go off and do this dumb shit, without telling me? Without telling _anybody_?” She looked struck, spluttering with indignation. “What, you don’t _trust me?”_

 

“Lup, of _course_ I trust you,” he insisted, trying desperately to keep up with her inquiries and ranting. “I’m just trying to give us a chance, here. If the Hunger can’t kill me, then I’ll finally have the power to fight back! I can protect us for the rest of the year, even if I die-“

 

“This won’t just kill you, Barry, it will destroy you _completely_ ,” she hissed. “Something’s gonna go wrong, and you’re gonna die, and that’ll be _it_.” She shook her head, jaw clenching as she ground her teeth. “This is insane, even for you.”

 

 _Ouch_. Out of all the ways he pictured this conversation going, Barry had never imagined having to see the love of his life look at him as if he had just killed her own brother, when all he was trying to do was save them, save _her_.

And sure, maybe he was a little frenzied, a little caught up in his musings and preparations and worn thin by the countless hours he had spent making them, but who wouldn’t be?!

 

Later, he would realize they had both allowed themselves to grow far more heated than normal, to get far too lost in the melee of emotion and exhaustion for anyone to have any semblance of a balanced conversation.

 

But then, they were anything but normal. And right now, they were anything but balanced.

 

“You don’t think I’ve thought this through?! I’ve planned it all out Lup, I’ve thought of _everything_. For gods’ sakes, I’m betting my life on it!”

 

“And why is that, exactly?” Lup had gotten up in his face now, and Barry almost felt sick at the ugly, foreign tension that was currently rolling between them.

“Why do you suddenly feel the need to play the hero, Bluejeans? Taking the big risk isn’t exactly your style,” she bit out, and _fuck,_ Barry felt the sting of that one _instantly._

Just like he felt it on the Judges’ planet. Accused of sloth, envy, and general cowardice.

 

 “Because I have to do _something_!” he burst out, exasperated with this whole fight, and trying not to cry because why the _fuck_ was he even fighting with the most important person in his life?!

 

“I’ve spent _so_ many years just researching this fucking Light, and what it does, and how it works, and why the Hunger wants it, and what do I have to show for it? **Nothing!** I haven’t done a damn thing to help us fight the Hunger, and everybody _fucking_ knows it.”

 

Barry pulled at his hair and paced the room, feeling borderline manic, and vaguely as if he were going mad. Like the weight of everything that had been happening for over 70 years was suddenly crashing down on him at once. He let out a slightly delirious chuckle at the thought. _Him, Barry Bluejeans, a mad scientist. How fucking ironic would that be._

 

“Those judges were right about me, Lup,” he muttered, “and I can’t be useless anymore, I just can’t. I need to be able to fight back.”

 

“The _Judges?_ You wanna get your soul destroyed because of _those_ assholes?” He looked at her again, and Lup was wearing disgust and disbelief on her reddening face. “Uh, scuze me babe, did you miss the part where they put _all six of us_ on blast? As in, not just you?”

 

Part of Barry knew that she was just upset, that neither of were thinking clearly. But gods, she knew how to get to him, how to make his heart move any way she wanted, and right now, she just wouldn’t stop.

  
“If you recall, ya’girl had a lot more ‘ _sins_ ’ than you, Barry. So, what, you think I gotta go get myself all fucked up too?”

 

“What? No, Lup, I-“

 

“What, you think I still haven’t done my fucking _penance_ on this gods-forsaken ship for eighty fucking years-“

 

“Lup, please just listen-“

 

“Then _what,_ Barry? What makes you think you get to go off and risk your neck? What makes you so _fucking special?!”_

 

“ ** _Why won’t you just let me do this for you?!?”_**

 

A few too many moments of silence stretched on in the lab. Barry’s only indication that he had shouted his last sentence was in the heaving of his own breath, trying to make up the sudden vacancy in his chest. 

 

There were tear tracks on Lup’s face. A heavy weight held his arms and legs down, resisting the reflexive urge to close the distance between them and dry the offending tears from her cheeks.

 

“How,” her voice cracked, and she took another breath shakily. “How could you think… I would _ever_ want that?”

 

And she with that, she walked out of the lab, leaving a confused and broken man in her wake.

  

* * *

 

 

“Mind if I sit?”

 

 Barry blinked, refocusing his dazed eyes on the stars beyond the Starblaster deck before turning to face the elf, feeling a brief spark of hope flicker in his chest.

It was day 6 of Lup steadfastly avoiding him, and he hadn’t been able to stand another second inside that ship, hearing the familiar sounds of life and chatter around him as if he was listening through a muffled speaker. The others either hadn’t noticed the sudden distance between them, or had been kind enough not to comment on it, but that and the cold side of his bed were all that Barry could think about.

He wasn’t sure how long he had been dissociating, with his legs swinging pitifully over the edge of the deck, but he had goosebumps on his skin, and the pang in his stomach indicated that he had missed dinner.

 

Basically, he wasn’t doing great. And presently, he was disheartened, but not altogether surprised, to find that his visitor was, in fact, Taako.

 

“Free ship,” he said absentmindedly, shoulders slumping once again as Taako plopped himself down onto the deck beside him with a thump.

 

“Good, cause I was gonna do it anyways.” Barry gave a faint smile at the jibe, but it quickly faded. A fact that did not go unnoticed by his shrewd friend.

The elf hummed at him suspiciously, before twisting in place to rustle around in the depths of his cloak. “You look like you need to talk, Barold. Luckily, I came prepared.” With a sigh, Taako pulled a bottle of red wine out from gods-knew where.

 

Barry scrunched his nose with a slight wince. “Thanks, Taako, but I’m not really in the mood to drink right now.”

 

Taako raised his eyebrows at Barry. “Who said this was for _you_?” With an easy spin and flick, Taako removed the cap from the bottle and brought it directly to his lips, drinking deeply.

 

“Oh, um. Okay, are you-“ Taako held up a finger and motioned for Barry to wait just a moment, and _goodness,_ he was still going. Didn’t he need to breathe?

Finally, Taako lowered the bottle and exhaled, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “If I have to listen to you talking about your feelings, I am _not_ doing it sober, my dude,” he said, hiccupping slightly.

 

 _Oh._ “I don’t really want to talk about it,” he muttered, earning an unimpressed grunt from Taako.

 

“Yeah, well, too bad. You and Lup are fighting, and I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.”

 

Barry sighed, hoping beyond hope that he wasn’t going to have to endure his second angry rant of the week. “How much did she tell you?”

 

Taako frowned, moving to take another sip of wine. “Zilch.”

 

 _What_? “You can’t be serious.” The elf didn’t say anything. “She really didn’t tell you?”

 

“Nope.” Taako ignored his incredulous stare as he picked vaguely at the label on the bottle. “Which is weird, because ya’know, she tells me everything, whether I wanna hear it or not.” On that, he fixed Barry with a withering look. “And I do mean _everything_.”

 

 _Oh geez, Lup._ Barry blushed and broke eye contact first. “Um, sorry?”

 

Taako screwed up his face. “Ew, no, it’s worse if you apologize.”

 

“Yeah, I-yeah, you’re right.” Barry shook his head, and after a moment, held his hand out to Taako, who snorted and handed him the bottle of wine. He took a hearty swig, swallowing with a slight wince, before handing it back.

 

Distantly, bird-like creature made a soft cooing noise, temporarily filling the brief silence between the two men.

 

“Is this about your denim kink?”

 

Barry snorted, cracking an actual smile for the first time that night. “Lup called it a jetish-”

 

“-Ooh, yeah, that’s better-”

 

“-And no, it’s not.”

 

Taako hummed, considering this. “Must be important, if you’re this worked up.”

 

 “Yeah. Yeah, it is. I just-”

 

He hesitated, struggling to explain enough of the dilemma without revealing too much. “I had this… idea, of sorts. It’s dangerous, but I _know_ it’s worth the risk. It was…something I could do, to myself, to help us fight the Hunger. Lup found out, and…well, she didn’t like it.”

 

Taako snorted derisively. “Yeah, no _shit_ , it sounds stupid already.”

 

_Well okay, fuck me, I guess._

 

“Are you really going to take her side, just like that?” Even though he had expected this, Barry still felt a little hurt at being written off so easily. “You don’t even know what I was planning to do!”

 

“Taako doesn’t _have_ to know your dastardly plans, bubbelah,” Taako sighed, swinging his legs lazily over the edge of the deck. “And I’m _not_ taking a side, that’s the whole _point.”_

 

Barry rubbed his eyes tiredly. “What the hell does that even _mean_?”

 

“Uuuggghhhh, it _meeaanns_ , that you need to stop acting like your life is less important than hers.”

 

Taako was glaring at him like he was an insufferable idiot, but then, Barry was starting to feel like one as he choked on the other man’s words, because _why the fuck was he wrong for wanting to protect the woman he loved_?

 

But true to his form, Taako gave him no time to think on it whatsoever. “Tell me, Dr. Hasn’t-got-a-clue-Jeans, can you name one thing that you _don’t_ like about Lup?”

 

 _What?!_ The very thought seemed scandalous. “Of _course_ not, why would I….I’m not gonna…is this a trap?” Barry kept looking for the familiar spark of mischief and general fucking-with-him that was usually in the elf’s face, only to find that there was none.

 

“EEAHH, wrong, I can name like, twelve things right now.”

 

Sure enough, Taako held up his fingers to count on. “She’s reckless, she’s nosy, she’s got anger issues up the wazoo, she snores, she eats everyone’s leftovers, she can’t even fucking boil _water_ right, and oh, did I mention the fucking _pyromania_? She- “

 

“ _Okay,_ okay, I get it,” Barry waved his hands, cutting off Taako’s relentless roast of his sister. “Look, I know Lup isn’t perfect, but I love _all_ that about her,” he insisted, struggling to lock in on his friend’s point. “And I don’t care if she fucks up, or makes mistakes, I’ll still follow her anywhere. I made that choice a long time ago.”

 

“Oh, really?” Taako had the nerve to look skeptical. “Even if she’s being fucking dumb, and gets you both killed?”

 

 “Yes! Absolutely!” Barry was exasperated at this point, because didn’t he _get it_? “I trust her with my _life_ , Taako, we’re _partners_! I want us to do _everything_ toge-“

 

 He trailed off, eyes flicking back and forth without focus as Taako took another easy sip of wine.

 

“C-P for your thoughts, Bluejeans?”

 

“I really fucked up.”

 

“Hmm.” Taako grinned at him morbidly. “Shocker.”

 

“How do I fix this?”

 

“Aside from the obvious?” Taako stood up from the deck, stretching his back and shoulders like a cat before making to walk back inside.

 

“You’re a romantic, Barold. I’m sure you’ll think of something.”

  

* * *

 

 

He knew where to find her, because of course he did.

 

He had to ask several native residents for directions, and he was clunky in the local language at best, so it took him a while to find it. But eventually, he found himself walking up the steps to the Capital City’s College of Music and Visual Arts. It was nowhere near as elaborate or as ornate as the Legato Conservatory was, but it was enough for the people here. He assumed it was their students’ Day of Rest, because nearly all of the auditoriums were empty. Barry only ended up having to try one room, following the lilting sound of melancholic music as it drifted through the deserted halls.

 

She continued playing for a few moments after he pushed open the heavy wooden door. She was in the middle of the small circular theater, the walls filled with high rows of empty cushions where an audience should have been seated, listening to her soulful ballad as she coaxed the notes from her gracefully aged violin. Like her talent, the instrument had only grown more exquisite with time.

 

But it was just him, right now. Watching her sway slightly with her back to him, putting her body into the music as she lost herself in concentration for a moment. The song wasn’t finished, but she slowly eased her bow off the strings, relaxing her posture slightly as she spoke.

 

“Nice of you to join me, Bear.”

 

Barry smiled softly, approaching her now that the silence was broken. “How’d you know it was me?”

                        

“I didn’t.” She placed her bow and instrument on the desk beside her and turned around, giving him a shrug and a small grin. “Did that to the last 4 kids who walked in here.”

 

He chuckled, probably more than the joke was worth, but he couldn’t help it. He was just so glad to hear her talking to him again. “I missed you,” he whispered, blinking a couple times as he saw his weariness mirrored on Lup’s face.

 

“I missed you too,” she sighed, looking torn as she clenched her teeth and stared at him longingly. They were only two feet apart, but it felt like miles between them, the sound of everything that had been spoken and shouted filling the empty space between their bodies.

 

Lup was able to put the feeling into words quite elegantly, as she was known to do. “This sucks, Barry. This sucks ass.”

 

Barry nodded, in all seriousness. “It does suck ass.”

 

“I _love_ you, why the fuck am I so-I don’t _want_ to be so-“ she put her hands in her hair and tugged slightly as she vented. “ _Ugh,_ why can’t things just be _better_ already?”

 

Barry tentatively put his hands on her wrists to coax them out of her hair, not wanting her to hurt herself in her frustration. He continued to hold them gently, relishing in the fact that her touch was still warm, still familiar. Paranoia had made their week of hellish distance feel like lifetimes, in a way that not even a cycle-gone-wrong for one of them had ever been able to do. Part of him had worried that touching her wouldn’t feel _right_ anymore, but he should’ve known that was impossible.

 

“I was wrong, Lup,” he said softly, squeezing her hands to try to impress upon her his sincerity. “I’m sorry.”

 

“Barry, please don’t-“ her voice cracked a bit, and she sighed. “Don’t just tell me what you think I want to hear, okay? I don’t want that.”

 

“I wouldn’t dare,” he deadpanned, and she huffed. “Babe, I’m serious.”

 

“Yeah?” She sounded suspicious, but her curiosity was piqued. “You were so invested in the idea, though.”

 

“I was– am. I know how to do it, I know it’s our best shot, but… it won’t work,” he said, and he could almost see the confused follow-up questions forming in her head. He felt his stomach start churning with nerves, anxiety in his chest rising as he prepared to ask her a very important question.

 

“I was too blinded to see it before but…I can’t do it, Lup. I can’t become a lich.” And he looked her right in her fucking-gorgeous face, and squeezed her hands tight, praying she wouldn’t run away.  

 

“At least…not without you.”

 

Lup’s lips fell open, breath leaving her suddenly as she searched his eyes for any sign of a joke, any potential for misinterpretation, only to find none. The faintly whispered “ _what?”_ was only a formality, an involuntary reaction to shock.

 

“Become a lich with me, Lup.” He found himself falling to his knees before her with their hands still joined, echoing a ritual that bore far less weight than what he was proposing now.

 

“The process turns so many people to madness, and… I was blinded, thinking I could do it alone. I need an anchor, something that will keep me sane, keep me from losing who I am to the power. And that’s you, Lup.” He smiled, his vision starting to blur. “It’s always been you.”

 

Lup bit her lip. “Barry…” she trailed off, looking scared, conflicted, unsure. But her eyes darted back and forth absently, and the tips of her ears stood straight up, and she was _thinking_ about it.

 

“Sweetheart, I can’t think of anyone who could keep it together better than you. You’re the strongest, smartest, most…fuckin’, hardheaded and stubborn person I’ve ever met, and you’re…”

He looked up at her, dropping his smile for a look of pure reverence, feeling like he was looking into the face of something greater than a goddess. “…you’re so full of love, and passion, and anger, and _life_. I can’t imagine you as being anything other than just _so_ alive, and that’s exactly why you’d make the perfect lich, Lup. If anyone should have power like that…it should be you.”

 

He felt it was true, knew it in his heart, and he was slightly giddy at the thought of it. The terribly unbridled force that Lup could use to reign hell down on the Hunger. If she was beautiful now, he could only _imagine_ what she would look like as magic and soul manifest.

 

And he could see she wanted it too, almost able to witness the gears turning in her head, hear her blood pump faster at the thrill of getting stronger, greater, more capable of wreaking havoc on public enemy numero uno.

 

But still, she hesitated.

 

 “Barry, I…I can’t leave Taako behind. And this…this just isn’t him.”

 

She sounded crushed to say it, like she was afraid of breaking both their hearts by doing so. But he simply kissed her hands firmly, both unsurprised and unfazed by the unspoken words between them.

 

That she loved Barry, loved him so deeply, but he wasn’t her anchor.

 

Because he knew, _of course_ he knew, just like he knew it didn’t matter. That her love was enough for him, and that even if this wasn’t Taako, it could still be _them._

 

“I know, babe. But if we’re liches, we can protect him, from the Hunger and everything else. He can have a normal life, and we can be with him, even if we die. Taako _never_ has to be alone, Lup.”

He swallowed past the pang of remorse in his chest.  “And I never have to leave you.”

 

Pain flashed across her face. “Barry…”

 

“I know you’ve thought about it. I have too. That if we win, if we escape this, I’ll just be a human again, and you’ll just be an elf? But Lup, we can be so much _more_ than that.”

 

He stood up from his knees and cradled her cheek in one hand, suddenly desperate to be closer to her, closer than physically possible. “I never want to leave you, Lup. Gods, I’d follow you anywhere, and I’m so _sorry_ I didn’t give you the same choice.”

 

She blinked hard, shaking away the mist in her eyes as she squeezed his hand tightly. “Fuck, Barry, I was so fucking _mad_ -“

 

“And I don’t blame you,” he said softly. “Lup, I can’t apologize for caring about your life more than I care about my own, I just can’t.”

She sighed sadly, and yeah. He saw now that this had been the part that made Lup doubt his confidence in his plan.

It was also the part that made this next bit utterly terrifying to say.

 

“But, I _can_ trust you to know what you want to do with your life. So, if you let me…” and he leaned back from her slightly, reaching into his robes and pulling out his notebook. He offered it to her and took a deep breath.

 

“….I’m not just willing to bet my life on this, Lup. I’m willing to bet yours, too.”

 

He waited. She stared at the book, an unreadable expression on her face. But when she finally looked up at him, features lit with nervous excitement and eyes glowing with utter adoration, he knew. He heard it.

 

_Yes._

 

“Barry, this is _crazy_ ,” she laughed through an overwhelmed smile. He couldn’t resist sweeping her into her arms, grinning stupidly as they relished in the feeling of being reunited, joined in their complete and utter devotion.

 

He whispered against her lips. “ _Who cares? Let’s be crazy together._ ” And he kissed her, before pulling back to look at her fondly. 

 

She giggled in delight as he lifted her up and swung her around in the air. "Now _that_ I can get on board with."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> C'mon, guys. You didn't really think they'd decide to become *liches* without getting a little unhinged, did you? 
> 
>  
> 
> (If this was half as emotionally taxing for you as it was for me, tell me about it down there. v v v)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's familiar. 
> 
> But, not *too* familiar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you guys ready for some levity to balance off all that raw emotion in the last chapter? 
> 
> :D 
> 
> Well, you came to the wrong place! 
> 
> D:

 

“Who?”

 

 

 

Barry blinked, trying to remember what he had said just a moment ago. The elf looked confused, and maybe a little frustrated.

 

Shit. Barry didn’t usually let himself get distracted like this. He just spaced out staring at the man’s face, for some reason.

 

He should probably stop doing that. It was probably creepy.

 

“Oh, um-me? Who am I? My name? Me?” Barry coughed, stalling until he finally remembered his alias. “I’m uh, Sildar Hallwinter.”

 He wasn’t sure _why_ he wasn’t supposed to use his real name, but the disembodied voice in the coin had been very insistent on it.

 

Which, yeah. That was a whole _other_ box to unpack.

 

All Barry knew right now was that he had woken up three weeks ago in a strange cave, with no recollection of how he got there or how he had acquired so much complex necromantic equipment. As a matter of fact, he didn’t remember much of _anything_ he had been doing for the past few years, after earning his doctorate. And, try as he might, he couldn’t remember who the hell had put him in some sort of… necrotic tank? He just kinda burst out of there, fully naked and covered in goo. On autopilot, he dashed for the wooden chest by the large desk in the room, where a pile of warm clothes that fit him perfectly were waiting.

 

He did a lot of things on autopilot, lately, which he couldn’t remember learning how to do. It was unnerving, to say the least.

 

His day had only gotten more unnerving, as nearly everything in the room both unsettled and confused him. There were journals in his handwriting that he couldn’t read, records of equipment he didn’t remember buying, maps with circles around places with no names, and cryptic notes with no explanations behind them. Most concerningly, there was a large piece of red fabric at the bottom of the clothing chest, some kind of cloak, and just the sight of it had given him a horrible migraine. 

(He got a lot of those lately, too.)

 

But then, his eyes fell on a shining coin in the middle of the cluttered desk, next to a note that said “pick me up.”

 

It was probably a trap. But he did it anyway, because he didn’t know what else to do.

 

To his surprise, the coin spoke to him. And the coin _knew_ him, somehow. It knew things about him that only he would know, and that should’ve led him to some sort of conclusion, but for whatever reason, he just couldn’t reach it. But still, it was enough for him to trust it.

 

Because he had woken up with a heavy weight on his chest, just like the coin said. He was perfectly healthy, horribly confused, and overwhelmed with a grief that he didn’t understand.

 

A person, the coin said. A love that had defined and redeemed him.

It sounded ridiculous. Barry had never been in love. He simply wasn’t meant for that sort of thing, had better things to do with his time.

 

So why then, did hot tears start pouring down his face when the coin said it could help Barry find the person he missed?

 

He had so many questions, which not even the coin could answer. Did Barry have a girlfriend? A wife, even? Someone he didn’t remember, but needed as badly as oxygen? Was she waiting for him somewhere? Or was she already dead, or bleeding?

 

He didn’t know, but the pain in his chest told him he was already committed, desperate to find the answers that the coin sought. He had nowhere else to go, no one else who knew him. He knew, then, that he would do as the coin asked without question.

 

So, when the coin told him to find Gundren Rockseeker, and stick with him no matter what it took, that’s exactly what he did. He posed as a bodyguard, and followed Gundren to hire some adventurers to aid him on his quest to Wave Echo Cave.

 

 Supposedly, Gundren knew these guys because the dwarf was his cousin by marriage, but Barry didn’t really care about that. Cousin or not, the three of them struck him as a bunch of incompetent idiots. The human looked hotheaded and brash, the elf looked disinterested and lazy, and the other dwarf looked like he didn’t know what the hell was going on.

 

Like he said. Idiots.

 

But then, Barry didn’t need to like any of them for them to get this job done. He just needed to get through this quest briefing, and follow Gundren to the cave, where he would hopefully find what the coin was looking for.

 

The only thing that didn’t quite add up for him in this scenario was that, no matter how hard he tried to pay attention to Gundren’s debriefing, Barry’s eyes continued to pass over the big guy and the crunchy hippie in favor of staring at the sullen elf sitting in the corner.  

 

To be fair, he supposed the elf was somewhat interesting to look at. He was a good-looking guy, in that androgynous way that many elves tended to be. His hair was blonde and cropped short, and he dressed in bulky layers of multicolored robes and floaty scarves. He also hid half his face beneath a large wizards’ hat, even though they were indoors, and refused to make eye contact with anyone. It was sort of like he was trying not to be noticed, and doing a really terrible job of it.

 

But still. It just wasn’t like Barry to stare. At least, he didn’t think it was.

 

He was broken out of his trance when the big guy spoke up, loudly protesting that there was no way he was going to remember a name like Sildar Hallwinter, and Barry kinda wanted to throw a brick at him.

But he also really, _really_ didn’t want to have to keep track of what his fake name was for the next week or so.

 

“Okay, _fine_ , my name is Barry Bluejeans. Happy?” he grunted. The coin could deal with a slight breach in protocol for one mission. It wasn’t like these dipshits were gonna tell anyone important, anyways.

 

* * *

 

 

Barry cursed as he was jostled against a stack of crates. The rough terrain and excessive speed at which the other human was steering the ox-driven cart was _not_ helping the copious bruises Barry had acquired. _Animal proficiency my ass._

 

The adventurers (Merle, Magnus, and Taako) had just saved him from the cave of gerblins, and Barry was trying (and failing) to rest up in the back of the cart on the way to Phandalin. He was thoroughly shaken, and more than a little embarrassed that he’d been overpowered so easily, but fuck, he wasn’t a _real_ bodyguard! How the hell was he supposed to deal with an ambush like that?

 

Still, the point stood that he had managed to lose Gundren, almost get killed, and be shown up by these three schmucks, all in the same day.

 

(Aforementioned three schmucks may have turned out to be more competent than Barry had originally anticipated. Barry was only mildly bitter about this.)

 

He wasn’t sure what to do, now. He knew he had to find Gundren, because whatever the crotchety dwarf was looking for in the Lost Mine was most logically what the coin was looking for as well. He knew he had to complete this mission, he knew he had to find Gundren, but…

 

He was scared.

 

Barry wasn’t used to danger, and he wasn’t used to fighting. He was a _scientist_ for crying out loud, that was _it_. He didn’t want to die, confused and afraid in a place he didn’t know with people he had never met.

He wanted to meet his wife, that he apparently had. He didn’t think it was possible to miss someone he had never met, but he _did_ , he so very much did.

He wanted to know if she had a nice smile, or pretty eyes. Was she smart? Funny? Did she like to sing, or dance?

He wanted to know if she really even existed, and if she did, did she love him as much as the aching in his chest seemed to love her?

 

He didn’t want to die alone.

 

“Hey Bluejeans, paint a picture. It’ll last longer.”

 

_Huh? Aw, crap._

While he was spacing out, his eyes had drifted back over to stare at Taako again. The elf had clearly noticed, and judging by the cold look he was sending Barry, he was decidedly unhappy about it.

It took Barry another second to notice, but the elf also looked a little unsettled. He was clutching his robes a little tighter around himself, and glancing furtively over at his two companions at the front of the cart.

 

“Oh, um, sorry,” Barry said sheepishly, realizing just how creepy he had probably just been. He really didn’t know what was up with himself, lately.

 But then, before he could even think about it, he heard himself saying to Taako: “it’s just, you look really familiar.”

 

Taako seemed to jolt at that, his eyes widening as he turned back to stare at Barry. He almost looked scared for about half of a second, before a strange glaze came over his eyes. Seamlessly, his face morphed into an easy, distant mask that almost looked genuine, like he had practiced it a thousand times.  

He waved a hand lazily at Barry.  

“Not possible, bubbelah. We ain’t never met, and there’s only one Taako.”

 

Barry shook his head, determined to stop staring at the guy. Seriously, what was wrong with him? He needed to focus on finding Gundren… preferably from a safe distance.

 

Who knows? Maybe he could convince the peanut gallery here to do it for him.

 

* * *

 

 

 As Barry was vaporized by the raging flames of the ~~phoenix fire~~ gauntlet, his second-to-last living thought was that this plan had backfired tremendously.

 

His very last thought, his last emotion, was sorrow, that he would never get to meet the person he was missing.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Barry woke up.

 

With his lich form released once again, he barely had time to dread what was about to happen, what had happened to him countless times over the last ten years.

It never got any easier, feeling his heart break all over again. It was always just as horrible as the first time.

 

And then he doubled over, his entire consciousness overwhelmed in memories.

 

 

* * *

 

 

_“Barry? Are you okay?”_

_He looked up, wiping furiously at his red eyes beneath his glasses. He sniffled, still a bit too choked up to answer her in a steady voice. “I-I-I’m sorry, L-Lup, c-could you give me a m-minute? I don’t w-want you to-” and he broke off with another sob, burying his face in his hands as the embarrassment of being caught in such a state only made him cry harder._

_“Hey, hey,” she hushed him, and he heard the door close quietly behind her as she darted across the room. Her voice came from just below where he sat on the bed as she kneeled beside him, laying a gentle hand on his arm. “It’s okay, Barry. It’s gonna be okay.”_

_He felt his face burning, as he tried to muffle the un-manly noises that escaped him, but couldn’t, not even well enough to speak. But Lup didn’t seem to care. She kept talking, soothing words washing over him as she gently rubbed her hand up and down his forearm, grounding him with her touch. It’s okay, she said. He didn’t have to talk right now, he could just let it out._

_Tears still spilled from his eyes, but he caught his breath enough to stutter out that he was sorry, that he didn’t want anyone to see him like this, being so weak, but she only shook her head and shushed him again. Her face was softer than he had ever seen it, and she grabbed his hand to squeeze it comfortingly._

_“Barry, this?” She gestured to him. “This isn’t weakness. And you shouldn’t be ashamed to show it, ever.”_

_He looked at her, and she looked so sincere. Didn’t she see that none of the others ever broke down like this? He never saw her hunched over, bawling like a child after a rough day._

_She gave him a smile, tender and a little sad, that his heart stop. “You only see what I want you to see, Barry. And right now, I want you to see that I care about you.”_

_She leaned in to hug him, and after a moment of uncertainty, he carefully hugged back, his sniffles fading into the background as they sat there. When she finally pulled back, she handed him a handkerchief from her robe pocket and took the glasses off his face, putting them on herself with a slight hum as he dried his cheeks._

_“Well, Barold? how do I look?” She struck a dramatic pose._

_He smiled, even though his eyes were puffy and tired, and he felt like falling asleep for a whole year. He smiled, because his heart had skipped a beat, and he **knew**. _

_“Honestly? I have no idea, cause…I can’t fucking see.”_

_“OOF, ouch, he got me. Sass-master Barold got me, oof!“_

_He giggled as she flopped to the floor, clutching at her chest as if physically wounded._

_“Better get me some fucking ice for these sick burns I just acquired, Barold!”_

_Yeah. He knew._

* * *

_“Do you ever regret it?”_

_Barry put his book down and looked at Lup, propped up on her elbows on the other side of the bed. “Regret what?”_

_“Becoming a lich.” She looked pensive, staring at her hands as if she could see the power hidden beneath her flesh. “We got close with it, but it wasn’t enough. I don’t regret it, but… do you?”_

_He thought about all the times he and Lup had flown through the air together, laughing and shouting as they played and explored with their newfound powers together, their souls twirling and twining around each other as they felt even closer than their flesh allowed them to be. He remembered standing with Taako, seeing her fall off the deck and light up the Hunger that very first time, more awesome and breathtaking in her lich form than anything he had ever seen. He compared the years in which they kicked it too early before the ritual to the years after it, how much happier they were when they could still be together. How much happier their family was, to still have them around._

_He smiled, and leaned over to kiss her briefly, cherishing the feeling of her so warm and alive beneath his lips. “Not even for a second, babe.”_

_She smiled back. She always did._

_Moments later, they both glanced over to the bedroom door with barely any surprise when Magnus burst in the room half-naked, gleefully announcing that he and Taako decided they were all going to have a secret-midnight-shirtless-dance-party out on the deck, under the full moon._

_“Oh **hell** yes,” Lup whooped, clambering over Barry to get out of bed as she clumsily yanked off her tank top, shameless as the day she was born. “C’mon sweet-thang, let’s go reconnect with our fae roots!” _

_Barry laughed, obediently taking off his sleep shirt as well. “I don’t have any fae roots, babe.”_

_“No worries,” and she snatched his wrist to pull him after her with that wicked grin of hers. “I’ve got enough for the both of us.”_

 

* * *

_She had been so quiet, lately. Everyone had been, and everyone knew there was nothing to be done about it. But it pained Barry to no end to see her looking so lost, in so much pain, grieving the people on the planet below them. The planet they were supposed to call their new home._

_He had been having muttered conversations with Taako in the hallway. Had she told him anything about what she was thinking? Was she going to be okay?_

_Taako said it was normal, that she had never been the one of them to make the tough calls, because she always did this, always spread herself too thin, gave her heart to too many people until she broke herself._

_It wasn’t a bad thing. But it wasn’t a good one, either._

_All they could do was be there. Tell her it wasn’t her fault. Tell her that the people on this planet chose to do those things, not her. Each time a city burned, it was the fault of the hand that lit the match, not the matchmaker. She nodded with glazed eyes, murmuring reassurances they didn’t believe._

_This was still better. It had to be._

_She came to him that night, after the small party they had, looking to be more at peace than she had been in ages. They didn’t talk much, but when they did, she was more like herself, that familiar spark of Lup flaring up again. It warmed his heart, and he allowed himself to exhale._

_They made love that night for the first time in weeks, and it was so slow and sweet, so comfortingly normal, that he couldn’t help but feel hopeful that maybe they could heal from this. Maybe they could settle down on this planet, have a life together in which they finally knew peace._

_It was with that thought that he reached out to hold her upon waking the next morning, only to find confusion as his hand fell on a piece of paper._

* * *

 

 

_“If she was captured-“_

_“She would’ve escaped.”_

_“If she died-“_

_“She would’ve been back by now. Can’t you like, feel her soul or something?”_

_“Can’t **you**?!” _

_Taako didn’t look up, but his jaw clenched, and Barry winced, grunting out: “Sorry, I shouldn’t’ve have said that-“_

_“It’s fine.” Taako’s voice was muted, mumbling as his eyes darted across the boards, maps, and haphazard triangulations that had swiftly overtaken the laboratory. “We need to cover more ground. Can we hire some more adventurers, put up another ad?”_

_Barry shook his head, grinding his teeth. “The last ones succumbed to the thrall.” A beat, and then he impulsively shoved some papers off the desk with a shout. “Fuck!”_

_“Hey!” Taako glared at him for a moment, snapping his fingers before returning to the maps, scribbling down a few more numbers. “Keep it together, Barry, you’re not helping.”_

_Barry pulled at his hair. “Fucking- **shit** , Taako, neither of us are helping! We can’t fucking find her anywhere!”_

_Taako sat at his desk, still working, annoyingly impassive as ever. “We will.”_

_“Oh, for fucks-don’t give me that bullshit optimism that everyone else is giving me,” he snapped. He’d regret it later, but he was strung out and frustrated, and Taako was easy bait to take it out on. “How do you know, huh? How do you know we’ll find her?!”_

_Barry jumped back when Taako stood up and slammed his fist down on the desk hard enough to shake everything on it. His graphing lead rolled across the table as his other hand tremored, and his eyes were so cold they could’ve frozen the astral plane.  “Because we have to,” he hissed, and Barry stood reeling, a little afraid as he waited to see what the elf would do._

_Taako didn’t break eye contact._

_At least, not until his stiff lower lip started to tremble, and his eyes started to water._

_Finally, Taako clapped a hand over his mouth and stifled a sob._

_“Oh, oh no, Taako I’m sorry-” Barry broke off whispering as he gathered up the shaking elf in his arms and brought him in for a tight hug. Taako buried his face in his shoulder, muffling the sound of a small creature wailing in pain, and Barry just rocked him gently back and forth, not saying a thing as his tears soaked into Barry’s robes._

_Taako clutched him like a lifeline, going half-limp on his feet like he couldn’t hold himself up anymore. Barry didn’t mind; he didn’t weigh all that much. He just held him patiently, listening to his sobs and sniffles slowly peter out. When Taako was able to speak again, his words were quiet and small._

_“I don’t know who I am without her.” He sniffed, still hiding his face in Barry’s shoulder. “And I don’t think I want to know.”_

_Barry closed his eyes, rubbing his hand up and down his brother’s back._

_“Neither do I.”_

* * *

 

Barry nearly lost control, like he did every time.

 

He couldn’t cry like this. He could only scream and rage, sending crackling waves of necrotic energy sweeping across the black disc that was formerly known as Phandolin.

 

Magnus. Merle. Taako. His family had been so _close._

 

They found the gauntlet. But Lup wasn’t with them.

“ **Where did you go** ,” he whispered, spectral form warping his words into a bastardization of his own voice. His real voice. The voice of the useless, shell of a man who had just let half of his family slip right out of his hands.

 

It would be so easy to just let his soul unravel, losing himself to the madness and grief that had been his existence these past few years. But he couldn’t.

 

His form stabilized after a moment, and he started floating off back towards his cave, already formulating a new plan of action. Always working. Always moving.

 

Hopelessly devoted.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would apologize, but hey, it's all canon-compliant. (Also, its my story and I do what I want, so.) 
> 
> What can I say, Barry has straight-up not been havin' a good time. I mean, 12 years in solitude, looking for your girlfriend, who turned into an umbrella? As a wise firelord once said, 'that's rough, buddy.'
> 
>  
> 
> As always, leave some comments and let me know what you think, what you like/don't like, etc etc. I really do appreciate knowing that you guys get something out of this story. I have some good stuff planned coming up, so don't go anywhere! 
> 
> <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bodies are weird. Wonderful, but weird. 
> 
> AKA, what happens when Lup gets hers back. 
> 
> (spoiler alert: its sex)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nothing too explicit in this chapter, but subject matter involves allusions to dysphoria and discussion of sexual attraction to different body types. 
> 
> Also, sorry if there's typos galore in this, but if I don't post this shit now I never will. 
> 
> Enjoy!

 

The best and most important thing Barry ever did with his second, third, and 99th chances at life was learn how to love, thoroughly and unconditionally. It took years of practice to get it just right, but eventually, Barry learned how to love the people he cared for with everything he was, and everything that he wanted himself to be.

 

He did this for his family, which he found under the most bizarre and stressful of circumstances. He did this for his friends, who found him time and time again when he had nobody else in the world.

 

But he did it for no one more than Lup.

 

For all that death fascinated him, nothing could ever be more important to Barry than the woman who showed him what it meant to truly be alive. His anchor, his heart, his inspiration, and most importantly, his best friend. She was all that kept him going in his years of isolation, all that kept him from succumbing to the madness that had chased him throughout the multiverse.

 

There was only one thing in all of reality that could’ve brought him more joy, more pure and unadulterated relief, than seeing her brilliant, fiery soul flying free from the Umbrastaff, released from her purgatory and returned to his life by the hands of her brother.

 

And that was to see her, wobbly-legged and dripping with goo as she stumbled out of the necrotic tank, finally returned to her own flesh after months of waiting.

 

She had been by his side again for months, spectral and warm and beautiful, and he had rejoiced in her presence for every last second. But having her be physical again was the final piece of the puzzle that his aching heart had needed, the final confirmation that she was back, she was here, she was _real._   Seeing her walk and talk and glow with that unmistakable radiance of hers lifted the final weight off of his chest, and Barry felt like he could finally breath again. He itched to touch her, to feel her, to feel for himself that it wasn’t an illusion.

 

But of course, she beat him to it:

 

“I’m about to smooch your fucking brains out, babe.”

 

And she did.

 

He definitely cried when she was wrapped in his arms again, kissing him over and over until his tears had ceased and he kissed her back with the same joy, the same wonder, the same heated desperation. It was messy and rusty and wonderful, and he was getting lightheaded because he had been imagining this for months and wanting it for years, and it was better than all of his wildest dreams and brightest memories put together.

 

At some point, they fell to their knees, mouths barely even parting as they did so. Lup straddled herself on his lap so easily as if she belonged there, because she _did_ , and he was struck with the overwhelming urge to have her even closer. He didn’t even want to be apart from her long enough to take a full breath, willing to forsake oxygen and life itself for another kiss, another touch, another taste of his love.

 

He finally came to some ounce of his senses and pulled away, his cheeks flushed and lips swollen as he stared adoringly at Lup’s face. She seemed to be just as much a happy mess as he was, grinning dopily and panting heavily as she sat flush against his hips, her arms around his neck. She wiggled in place, clearly itching to be closer to him too, and Barry realized with a prickle of remorse that he ought to be careful not to overwhelm her senses. She hadn’t been corporeal in over a decade, and sensory overload was nothing to joke about.

 

Which meant that the hardness pressing between their laps was probably not going to be great for her at the moment. 

 

“Sorry ‘bout that,” he breathed with an apologetic smile, sure that Lup had felt it too. “I’m just… real happy to see you, babe, just… ignore me?”

 

“Hm?” Lup blinked the kiss-induced haze out of her eyes as Barry brushed a loose strand of damp, plasma-coated hair from her face, glancing down at his lap after a moment. He absentmindedly caressed her hair, cherishing the feel of her as she leaned in to kiss him several times quickly again.

 

He melted into her lips unquestioningly, only blinking in mild confusion when she pulled away again with pink cheeks and pursed lips, the unmistakable face of his darling Lup trying not to laugh at him. “What was that for?”

 

“Oh, Barry. Sweet, darling Barry.” She patted his cheek softly, flushing a little brighter. “That’s not you, babe.”

 

“Huh?” His love-addled brain caught up as she shifted awkwardly on his lap again, watching as the realization dawned on his face with a sheepish smile. “Oh, right. I forgot about that.”

 

“Mhm,” she hummed, leaning in for another kiss that made his head spin, shifting in his lap again as she did so. After a few increasingly heated moments, he broke away from her lips with a slight gasp.

 

“Well, _now_ it’s both of us,” he mumbled, and she huffed out a laugh, chewing her lip as a question danced across her eyes. Not one born of insecurity; no, that wasn’t her. Just curiosity, and the slightest bit of confusion that Barry might’ve found laughable if she wasn’t so earnest.

 

He pulled her closer and buried his face in her neck, trailing kisses down the length of wherever he could reach as he drank in the feeling of her skin. Because the thing was, Lup smelled just like he remembered, and she tasted _just_ like he remembered. Her heart thrummed the same, and she moved beneath his hands the same, looked at him and smiled at him with that same, devilish smile. And she was beautiful as she had ever been, and the rest was just… details.

 

“You’re gorgeous” he murmured, cradling her cheek in his hand softly as he gazed at her adoringly, feeling physically incapable of not touching her for even a second. “Most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”

 

Lup rolled her eyes at him, twirling her fingers in his hair as she bit back that grin of hers. “Well duh, I don’t need _you_ to tell me that,” she teased, waiting a beat before murmuring into his lips: “but If you wanna take a spin on Lup 1.0, then keep telling me anyways, stud.”

 

And, with the overwhelming want and love and pent-up affection and _want_ that he saw reflected back in those eyes that he missed so dearly, Barry _fully_ intended to do so.

 

 

“…Please don’t.”

 

Until that.

 

 

Barry and Lup stared at each other with wide eyes. He cringed, as Lup hissed through her teeth.

 

He tentatively turned to look over his shoulder, as he and Lup piped up in near unison:

 

“ _Sorry, Taako.”_

 

 

The elf in question was sat in the chair of Barry’s old desk, his face buried firmly in both of his hands. He dragged them slowly down his cheeks and off of his chin, before shooting them both a withering glare.

 

Lup shook off the embarrassment quickly enough shoot finger guns at Taako as she climbed out of Barry’s lap. “Hey, so, Imma keep it real with you, chief.” She grinned sheepishly. “I forgot you were here.”

 

Taako rubbed at his temples, looking more than a little dead in the eyes. “Yeah, I gathered, dipshit.” He turned to glare at Barry pointedly. “You do remember you fucking _drove me here_ , right?”

 

 

Barry was guessing he was about as red as their robes right about now. He had, in fact, _completely_ forgotten that Taako had come with them. Not only to see his sister safely returned to her body, but to perform Lup’s transmutation as soon as possible.

 

Unfortunately for all of them, pretty much any thoughts other than ‘Lup’ had left Barry’s mind the moment she stepped out of the tank.

 

“Yeah, um. Might’ve-might’ve gotten a little carried away there, sorry-“ he coughed.  “Um, why didn’t you say something-”

 

“ _tHeRe wAsN’t ExAcTlY a nAtUrAl bReAk iN tHe-“_  

 

“-Okay, okay yeah, I’m sorry, you’re right, it’s fine-“ Barry tried to placate Taako’s furious and hysterical spluttering, which eventually died down to a vague grumbling about _fucking perverts_ and _tried to give you a moment._ Eventually, Taako gathered himself enough to look them both in the eyes again. Barry was now overtly conscious of the fact that he and Lup were still kneeling in a haphazard embrace on the floor, and Taako hadn’t gotten to greet his sister yet.

 

Barry cleared his throat, making to get up. “Did you two like, want a minute, to-“

 

“-hug my sister while she has a boner?” Taako said drily. “I think I’ll pass, thanks.”

 

Lup snorted while Barry fruitlessly attempted to sink further into the floor. “Fair enough, my dude.”

 

Taako sighed, flicking his recently purchased wand back and forth between his fingers. “So, we doing this thing today Lulu, or what? Cause if so, I’ll postpone throwing myself into the ocean.”

 

Barry turned back to Lup, who was chewing her lip thoughtfully. As much as he really didn’t want to be out of her sight and away from her touch for a full hour while Taako cast the spell _,_ it wasn’t his decision to make.

 

There were a good thirty seconds in which she appeared to be teetering back and forth between her options, shifting in her own flesh as she gave Barry several heated glances over that made his cheeks burn. He could practically hear the debate in her head. _Bone now, or bone later?_

 

And when Lup looked back at Taako with a grin, Barry heard the decision in his head. _Both? Both. Both is good._

 

“Meet us at the house in 20, Taaks.”

 

Taako groaned in exaggerated disgust and Blinked out of existence, and Barry barely had time to take off his glasses before Lup pounced. 

 

_Looks like 12 years of patience just ran out._

 

 

* * *

 

Trying to be very quiet while also being very nervous was harder than anticipated.

 

Taako had kicked him out of the bedroom an hour ago; apparently nerds messed with his focus. So Barry was just on the couch, in the living room. Sitting.

Waiting.

 

It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Taako, of _course_ he did. It was just that it was a very difficult spell, and anything could go wrong, and what if it didn’t work, or what if Lup’s soul somehow managed to get lost forever this time…

 

And he should probably stop spiraling now.

This was fine. Everything was gonna be _fine._

 

11 minutes later, Barry had decided that this was definitely _not_ fine. The casting time was 60 minutes, and it had now been 61 since they went in there, so clearly they were both dead.

 

He was just getting up to go throw open the door and see for himself when the bedroom door swung open, and out walked Lup. She was draped in a bathrobe  with a contented grin on her face.

 

“Mmm, much better,” she sighed, falling into Barry’s arms as he scooped her up with giddy relief and happiness, feeling all of his emotions as well as feeling her own satisfaction at being back in her more comfortable form.

 

After a deep kiss, he pulled back to look at her, really look at her, and found himself puzzled, although he couldn’t quite pin down why.

 

It took him a couple seconds for it to register, and he couldn’t help but shake his head and chuckle at her, grinning back at him like the cat that caught the canary. Because with her smile came some laugh lines that hadn’t been there before, and a cute little gap in her front two teeth. And upon further inspection, he was sure he would find that the natural sheen of her hair was fainter than it once had been, and there were little scars and blemishes across her skin that would’ve once faded away before they could set.

 

_Gods, he loved her._

 

Because really, he should’ve known she would still want them to match.

 

 “You two just can’t make it easy on me, can you?” He sighed, gazing fondly at Lup, who, in addition to having her more feminine traits back, now had all of those little changes to her appearance that Taako had acquired in Wonderland, too.

 

“To be fair, I had to bully him into actually doing it, but my body my choice, ya’know?” She winked at him, stepping back from his embrace to give him a demonstrative twirl, her bathrobe leaving very little ( _but still far too much_ ) to the imagination.

 

“So, whaddaya think? Still smokin’?”

 

Barry nodded eagerly, finding himself more entranced by this change by the second. There had never been any question that he would find her attractive in any form, but there was something to be said for how…well, how practically _human_ this made her look. He would never have changed a thing about her before, or wanted to take her away from her culture, and yet…

 

Even in all of their years of being together, she had still seemed a bit ethereal to him, like she was slightly out of touch, just barely out of his reach. Paired with her achingly long absence from existence, and it did something wonderful to his heart to see her looking so real. Like he could really hold her like this, and have her be here, 100% here. And she would still be Lup, still be Taako’s twin, and still be the love of Barry’s undead life.

 

_And yes, still be **so** fucking hot. _

“It suits you,” he said softly, reeling in the fact that he was still able to fall more in love with this woman after all these years, that she was still able to surprise him.

 

He was broken from his reverie by her sudden gasp and gleeful clap of her hands against her cheeks. “Oh my gods, am I a _MILF_ now?!”

 

Barry bust out laughing at the delight on her face, unable to help himself as he gathered her up in his arms again to squeeze her tightly against his chest.

.

“I think MILF’s usually have kids, babe.” He kissed her neck, leaning into the temptation of teasing her. “But the I-L-F definitely applies.”

 

“Is that so?” Lup leaned back to look at him and waggled her eyebrows, before gesturing to the rest of her. “Well whaddaya say we go break this bad girl in, hm?”

 

He chuckled into their kiss, which predictably grew more and more heated as they stood there in the hallway, unwilling to move as they embraced their boundless love and desire for one another.

That is of course, until they were interrupted once again by a cranky, tired voice shouting from the bedroom:

 

 

_“You freaks aren’t doing **shit** ‘till I get some **fuckin’** orange juice!” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was long overdue, but I hope it was worth it! There'll be at least one more chapter to this fic, possibly more, so stay tuned. And as always, comment!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys like this so far!!
> 
> If you did, please leave comments, they fuel my soul. <3


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